Archive for the ‘Homerism’ Category

I was ready to write about the Bills bizarre blame triangle — last night’s nightmare featured Mario Williams, Chris Kelsay and Chan Gailey singing New Order’s seminal classic at karaoke bar in Seoul — until news of two outlandish stadium proposals broke yesterday.

The first, brought to us by the Greater Buffalo Sports & Entertainment Complex, features a 72,000 seat stadium with a retractable roof in the outer harbor of Buffalo — it would also double as a convention center. Nicholas J. Stracick and George F. Hasiotis, the brains behind the operation, state the proposal would gain the NFL’s endorsement and ensure the Bills stay in Buffalo even without the team’s participation in the project. The developers have approached stadium builder HKS, the people behind Lucas Oil Stadium and the new football money pit in Minneapolis.

If that sounds like a pipe dream then you’re not an idiot. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s an old saying. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times – you’re insane, please stop ruining my life.

I’ve railed on Chan Gailey’s play calling in previous posts but today was special. Somehow, Gailey managed to outdo himself. Nursing a six-point lead, the Bills had the ball at their own 37-yard line with just under four minutes to play. For reasons we’ll never know, Ryan Fitzpatrick threw the ball. After destroying the Titans on the ground all day, the Bills were throwing in their own territory with the lead. The pass was intercepted. Of course it was.

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Moments before Shawne Merriman was cut I sang his praises. “He can make a difference with 10 snaps a game, do you remember how terrible Chris Kelsay is and how could it hurt?” was the general sentiment.

Once again the Bills’ braintrust managed to make me look foolish. Yes, Merriman is a shell of the dominant pass rusher he once was — 2007 was a long time ago — but with the injury to Mark Anderson the Bills need depth at the position.

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Well that was quite the shit show.

It was a game for the masochists. A three way competition for most terrible Quarterback resulted in a tie – they were all awful. The Bills defense actually generated a pass rush. Unfortunately this came with a mandate that forced the linebackers to vacate the middle of the field. Until he was knocked out of the game Kevin Kolb was the white Michael Vick for four quarters. Both the scrambles and ensuing injury was Vickian. Well done good sir.

We won. All four teams in the AFC East are 3-3. Some how the Bills are tied for first. The Patriots are a good team but they won’t run away with the division. I see the race being decided in the final week of the season when the Bills host the Jets – that would be fun.
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When there's nothing left to lose.

“Remember this moment. Remember how awful Fitz is. Don’t let anyone talk to you about his TD numbers and try to argue he’s decent. He’s atrocious.”

“That first down throw might be Fitz’s worst yet. I’m impressed that he’s finding new lows.”

“At this point, we all should just stop watching.”

There came a point two years ago when I wondered why I even bothered. Read the rest of this entry »

December 26, 2004.

It was a different world back then. The Malice at the Palace had captured the hearts and minds of a nation. George W. Bush was settling into his second term in the Oval Office. The city of Boston basked in the glow of their first World Series win since 1918.

All of those things listed above were terrible, but that year maintains a special place in my heart. After starting the year 0-4, the Bills went on a miraculous run that saw them win six consecutive games. Drew Bledsoe had fought off the calls for promising rookie JP Losman – shudders – to start and led Buffalo to the brink of the playoffs. Of course they would go on to lose a must win game at home against a Pittsburgh team that was fielding a collection of third stringers including starting quarterback Brian St. Pierre. But that’s a story for a different day. A cold, alcohol infused day.

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The parking lot at Ralph Wilson Stadium is a wonderful place.

Copious amounts of binge drinking, poorly played flag football between awkward Canadians and their Upstate New York brethren and unbridled hatred of our rivals makes it a pretty special chunk of urine soaked asphalt. For a team that manages to suck in new and devastating ways it’s a large reason why going to games remains tolerable. Sort of like group therapy for masochists.

For a couple of hours it looked alright. Donald Jones’ 68-yard touchdown a few minutes into the third quarter made the score 21-7. From there the Bills righted the universe and proceeded to do what they do best – implode when faced with a modicum of adversity.

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