I know, at first it doesn’t seem like there’s a fantasy connection here, and we usually like to have one of those when we’re writing about things, and especially when we’re writing about stuff. But oh, there is one, and it’s real and spectacular.
More on that in a minute. But first, let’s relive the play that — in this Internet ranter’s un-humble opinion — ended in a far more egregious lack of officiating competence than the now infamous Hail Mary play the replacement officials botched earlier this year during the Green Bay-Seattle game.
I’m of course referring to Justin Forsett’s 81-yard touchdown run that shouldn’t have been a touchdown at all yesterday, a play that eventually really, really mattered when the Texans needed overtime to beat Detroit 34-31. The run occurred during the third quarter, and while Arian Foster’s backup rumbled for a nice little eight-yard gain, every conceivable angle showed that he was quite clearly down. Both his elbow and knee touched the ground, so by definition he was a downed runner, and the play should have ended.
It didn’t, and when the officials missed Forsett’s contact with the ground he smartly kept running, and running. His touchdown was the difference in the game, meaning the officials were also the difference in the game. And when that happens, pitch forks happen. Anger happens. Shame happens.
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Passing is generally a lot easier when the opposition’s top cornerback is watching football instead of playing football. Matthew Stafford, this is your life. Today.
As was widely expected, Johnathan Joseph’s game-time decision didn’t go in his favor, and he’ll miss the Texans’ game against the Lions today in which the winner gets to eat all of the turducken. This, of course, is fun news for Stafford and Calvin Johnson owners, as a Texans defense that overall ranks seventh against the pass while allowing an average of 213.6 yards per game is a shadow of itself in the secondary without Joseph.
Please recall how this other, much weaker Texans defense looked without Joesph against the Jaguars in Week 11, and the lethal, feared gunslinger you know as Chad Henne. Kareem Jackson replaced Joseph, and he was repeatedly and thoroughly burned, with Henne passing for 354 yards. Our abacus indicates that’s 141 more yards than Houston’s per game average against the pass. That’s, um, a lot.
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Tip 302: Resolve family tension by directing anger at universally hated figure.
At its best, American Thanksgiving is a time to gather the family from all corners of the globe and eat lots of food. The cousin you haven’t seen in seven years, the uncle who just got out of prison — they’re all there. Hey, you might even get to talk about the recent election in a civil manner. It’s just politics after all.
At its worst, American Thanksgiving is a time to question the sanity of your mother as your family camps outside a Best Buy for five days, subsisting on uncooked ramen noodles and expired canned chili. A discussion about the recent election turns into an alcohol-fueled fist fight between brother-in-law Rex (America is doomed) and cousin Jeffrey (America is doomed and he’s a Muslim). Read the rest of this entry »
After missing last week’s sloppy affair in Chicago, TE Owen Daniels will play for Houston when the Texans host Jacksonville at 1pm. Daniels should be inserted into starting lineups in all formats, though the Jags haven’t allowed a touchdown from a TE this season. Jacksonville’s pass defense ranks in the bottom third of the league. Play OD with confidence.
Sorry for yelling. The all caps conveys multiple emotions, starting with anger, and then getting to despair.
But yeah, you saw this coming, right? RIGHT? Welp, Daniels is now officially inactive for tonight’s prime-time game between the Texans and Bears, and with the late start to this game hopefully you rolled with your backup tight end. It really doesn’t matter who that was, because any points is better than no points.
If you’re in a deep league and you didnt have an appealing option on your bench, stop reading this now and pick up Daniels’ backup Garrett Graham. Kellen Davis or Tony Moeaki will work too, as they’re both widely available and they also play in prime-time games (the Chiefs are set for their latest embarrassment against the Steelers tomorrow night).
For some reason, starting Owen Daniels at tight end with any regularity still feels about as sexy as, say, playing with Lego on a Saturday night (don’t judge me). Yes, he’s tied for second in fantasy scoring among tight ends, with his 73 points putting him alongside Pittsburgh’s Heath Miller, and behind only Rob Gronkowski. And yes, he’s a consistent target for Matt Schaub, especially with Andre Johnson declining.
He still isn’t named Gronkowski or Graham, though, which seems to be a central problem, and he was taken on draft day in August significantly behind the likes of those two and Tony Gonzalez. Life, it’s not fair. But by now you should have abandoned your desire for fantasy sex appeal — three words that perhaps don’t belong together and usually mean something entirely different, but I digress — and be a proud Daniels owner.
Expect for today, when owning Daniels could really, really suck.
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Little did we know.
As Hurricane Sandy approached the Eastern Seaboard on Monday, several commentators on both television and the internet recalled the last time an apocalyptic scenario had managed to infuse genuine fear amongst the populace.
We now know the ‘year 2000 problem’ — affectionately known as Y2K — was a small issue that didn’t cause airplanes to fall out of the sky and didn’t turn microwaves into pizza pocket heating machines of death. Those who actually knew the world wouldn’t explode were silenced by doomsayers with platforms far too large for their lack of credibility.
What I remember most — again, I got problems — about 1999 was the state of the Buffalo Bills heading into a new decade. Read the rest of this entry »