Archive for the ‘Indianapolis Colts’ Category

You’ve heard about the reunion taking place this Sunday, yes?

Chuck Pagano, fresh back from kicking leukemia’s ass (thankfully), will be returning to Baltimore when the Colts take on the Ravens. Pagano was on Baltimore’s coaching staff from 2008 to 2011, serving as a secondary coach and coordinating a dominating defense before being hired by the Colts in 2012 to fill their vacant head coach position. Now at Indianapolis, the Colts defense hasn’t been as good as Pagano’s with the Ravens because it’s transitioned to a 3-4 and has several new parts. They’ve struggled all season long, and they’ll have their work cut out for them on Sunday. They allow the third most rush yards per game (137.5) and second most average per rush (5.1), and they’re facing Ray Rice.

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When Jim Irsay shows up looking like an Orange County frat boy while at the helm of the Mayflower for a playoff game, you know it’s on.

Ahhh yes, and we have our first Mayflower reference of the week. Actually, it’s probably at least the seventh. Although we’ll be reminded of that embedded storyline which is on the lowest possible branch of the story tree relentlessly this weekend, there’s now an entire generation of football fans who weren’t alive to remember the Baltimore Colts. Johnny U forever.

Don’t feel shame if you’re not up on story of the franchise Jim’s father stole in the middle of the night. Start that education by watching the ESPN 30 for 30 doc, The Band That Wouldn’t Die. It’s a pretty cool side story.

But what of modern day? Well, these two teams have met twice in the playoffs recently, with the Colts winning both games (2006 and 2010). That’s when a dude named Peyton was around, though. The Colts are Andrew Luck’s team now, meaning Sunday we’ll see a quarterback who will get consideration for offensive rookie of the year. He’ll oppose a sometimes brilliant, but more often inconsistent soon-to-be free agent counterpart. And we’ll also watch possibly the last game for one of the best middle linebackers in NFL history, whose unmatched on-field intensity has soiled many pairs of pants.

We’ll let the pundit lips spin their neatly-woven webs of poetic waxing with the abundance of talking points. Other such matters may actually determine the outcome of this game.

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Chuck Pagano’s return to the sidelines went pretty damn well. The Colts defeated Houston 28-16, ending the Texans hopes of securing the number one seed in the AFC. The Colts, their owner — Jim Irsay — and Pagano celebrated in the style after the game. Dance fella dance.

h/t to cjzero for the video

Your pursuit of elusive value and easily exploitable matchups has reached its zenith this week, a week in which you can own all of the marbles, or perhaps lose your marbles.

The choice is yours. But when you’re looking for the best defensive matchup during championship week, your search should start in Indianapolis, the land where drinking frothy beverages is not permitted during the holiest of days at any fine establishment.

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They lived in the city of Baltimore, they live in the city of Indianapolis, they had Tony Dungy, they have Chuck Pagano/Bruce Arians, they had Dallas Clark, they have Dwayne Allen, they had Jacob Tamme, they have Coby Fleener, they had the 4-3 defense, they have the 3-4 defense, they had Johnny Unitas, they had Peyton Manning, and now they have Andrew Luck.

The Colts have been at the top and the bottom of the NFL in the last few years, and I didn’t expect them to be back near the upper echelon so quickly. About a week into the season, I sat at one of my colleagues house’s watching the Chicago Bears dismantle the Colts, and I foolishly predicted Indianapolis would win only five games in 2012. Ten weeks through the season, they sit 6-3. A big reason why the Colts have surpassed that mark and made me look like I was three sheets to the wind when I said that is rookie signal-caller Andrew Luck. The No. 1 overall selection has been excellent and his raw statistics — 57.5 completion percentage, 10 touchdowns, 9 interceptions — don’t do him justice.

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Like reality Blaine Gabbert, virtual Blaine Gabbert is both progressing, and boring.

Here’s a short list of more productive things you could be doing with your time instead of watching this game tonight:

  • Plant quarters on the sidewalk, and see how many people walk by before they’re all picked up and gone.
  • Shop for new cutlery, and only purchase sets that stick together magnetically.
  • Train mice to play football. Their completion percentage will likely be higher than Blaine Gabbert’s.

We’ll all watch because it’s football, and men who don’t watch football are assumed to be a member of a terrorist organization. Although it’ll be fun to watch Andrew Luck and only Andrew Luck without flipping between nine other games on a Sunday, there are few other redeeming qualities about this game, as watching Jaguars football is akin to eating cinder blocks.

But if the Madden predictor machine is accurate, it’ll be a close game complete with the expected amounts of bumbling and attempted game handing. So basically, Jaguars football.

Man, if this whole Internet writing thing takes a nose dive I know my next line of work. Eskimos be linin’ up to buy ice off of me with these marketing skillz.

OK then, let’s watch some moving pictures from this sim that features 34 virtual minutes of meh followed by two minutes of awesome in a 15-13 Jaguars win.

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Consensus line: Colts -3 (-120+) or Colts -3.5, total 42
Current betting percentage: 82% on the Colts, 58% on the OVER

Individual Team Trends:

  • Colts are 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games overall.
  • Colts are 4-0 ATS in their last 4 games after allowing less than 90 yards rushing in their previous game.
  • Colts are 3-13 ATS vs. a team with a losing record.
  • Jaguars are 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games after scoring less than 15 points in their previous game.
  • Jaguars are 0-4 ATS in their last 4 home games.
  • Over is 16-6 in Colts last 22 road games.
  • Under is 8-1 in Colts last 9 vs. AFC.
  • Under is 12-3-1 in Jaguars last 16 vs. AFC.

Head-to-Head Trends:

  • Over is 8-3 in the last 11 meetings in Jacksonville.
  • Colts are 1-4 ATS in their last 5 meetings.

Just when you thought that Thursday Night Football couldn’t possibly get any worse, the schedule makers go out and slot in something like this…and totally redeem themselves! There’s nothing more thrilling than watching Blaine Gabbert toss deep balls with 18 seconds of hang time, or watching the Colts defense miss a handful of tackles on one play. I’m dying to see all of the pre-game B-roll of Dwight Freeney from a time when he wasn’t a liability on the field. I can’t wait.

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