Archive for the ‘JaMarcus Russell’ Category


There are firsts for everything, everyday. For example, last night was the first time I was nearly hit by a flying bat at a baseball game. At that same game, a kind woman threw a man’s prescription glasses to a place far, far away.

Around these parts today, we’re experiencing a far less exciting but still notable first: this is the first time this here Internet writing space has had a JaMarcus Russell post on back-to-back days.

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When we last checked in with JaMarcus Russell and his attempt to be an NFL quarterback who isn’t fat and slow and inaccurate, his comeback immediately brought to mind thoughts of a rusted car trying to climb a steep and sandy hill, and eventually going boom.

That was back in late February, when Russell’s comeback was very much in its infancy, and it took him 5.2 seconds to run 40 yards in a straight line. That’s bad, and so was his weight at the time, which topped out at a rather rotund 315 pounds.

But hey, we have progress. The latest installment in Bleacher Report‘s series documenting his comeback attempt surfaced earlier this morning, and Russell says that he’s no longer “breathing like a fat man” after warming up for his actual workout. Game changer.

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If we’re ever going to take JaMarcus Russell’s comeback attempt seriously (note: we’re not going to take it seriously), he needs to demonstrate that he can run, scramble, and shuffle in the pocket. Those are normal quarterback things, and the problem is that he’s never really been a normal quarterback. No, he’s been much worse.

Today we’ve learned the exact slope of his mountain. In short, his journey into the figurative snowy Neverland above will probably end sort of like this…

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JaMarcus Russell’s comeback has begun. The biggest bust in NFL history is training at the TEST Football Academy, relearning the game he had taken for granted years ago. Former CFL sweetheart Jeff Garcia is serving as his tutor. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Watching Russell’s girth jiggle is hypnotizing. Best of luck, JR.

Video via BR.

"Calvin Johnson?"

The getty archives tell the story. From smiles and hugs on draft day to becoming the biggest bust in NFL history, JaMarcus Russell did it his own way. That way included not remembering his playbook and getting arrested for possession of codeine syrup –’Purple Drank’ to the connoisseurs — without a prescription.

Like most redemption stories, this one begins with a Russell acknowledging the error of his renegade ways. Shutdown Corner has quotes from the man himself. The most important questions directed at the former LSU star included seminal classics “Who are you?” and “What are you doing here?” Read the rest of this entry »