Archive for the ‘Kevin Ogletree’ Category

Week 2 of the NFL season is upon us (well, actually it started last night), and it’s time to make your football viewing experience a little more interactive. I know that some of you reading this blog are gamblers who will bet on your son’s pee wee baseball game if it meant you could feel the sweet rush of losing your family’s food budget for the month (Gamblor’s neon claws are a bitch to get away from). This post is for you.

I’m not saying gambling is wrong. On the contrary, I think it can be a fun way to make a game between Cleveland and Cincinnati seem relevant. What I am saying, is that there’s so much more to gambling than just the games themselves.

I want to appeal to the kind of cat who would plop down their hard earned cash predicting how many Chris Berman farts will be audible during Monday Night Countdown this week. (o/u: 6.5)

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There’s gold in them there waiver wires. Some of it will help your fake football team win a fake championship and maybe even give you a fake trophy to put beside your real divorce papers. Other gold is of the foolish variety, and is reserved for that guy in your league who picks up and hoards every player who busts out, even though he didn’t know said players’ name a week ago. Every league has that guy, along with trade veto guy, inappropriate smack talk guy, and entire draft clock taker guy.

After their surprise Week 1 performances, Cowboys wide receiver Kevin Ogletree and Redskins running back Alfred Morris were two of the hottest adds throughout the fantasy land. In ESPN leagues over the past seven days, Ogletree’s ownership has risen 67.5 percent, while Morris’ has gone up 64.7.

So with many of you taking that plunge and buying low on Morris and/or Ogletree, who will give a better return on that early-season investment? I was asking that question too, and I decided it was a good idea to stop talking to myself, and maybe ask someone else. That someone was Chet Gresham, a regular contributor to Rotoworld, and the founder of The Fake Football.

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For the first time, Jason Witten gazed upon the face of a God. The only other time he thought he saw God, Witten was actually gazing upon the arm-pit of God’s brother Larry.

It’s that time of the week again folks, only now the games have actual meaning and the captions will bring you even closer to the brink of laughter (if I can get at least one chortle or guffaw, I’ve done my job).

The NFL season kicked off on Wednesday with a matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and the defending Super Bowl champion New York Giants, with the ‘boys winning 24-17. Naturally, dudes showed up with their cameras, and these life-changing photos were the result.

Today you’ll learn about the meteoric rise of Kevin Ogletree (something that was foretold by two wise prophets), the failure of Eli Manning, and the tragic fate of one replacement referee who may or may not have dropped the soap.

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We play a game based on more than just sacrificing all contact with your loved ones for several months. Yes, fantasy football cuts much deeper than that, but at its core the obsession is driven by two key factors: the need to balance risk and safety in player evaluation — which we discussed at length during the peak of draft season — and irrational reaction.

Oh c’mon now, we’re all guilty of having a jerky knee. I am, you are, and your wife who plays fantasy football just so she’s able to have some kind of interaction with you definitely is. When Victor Cruz dropped three passes Wednesday night, it was widely proclaimed that he wasn’t, in fact, the next Victor Cruz, and instead he’s a bust. That reaction was motivated by angst, which was understandable when those who spent a high draft pick on Cruz had to watch those balls hit terra firma. Once that anger dies down, though, rational thought should take over, and we realize that one bad game is…one bad game.

However, the reaction surrounding another player in that game is a little confusing. Fantasy owners made a steep investment in Cruz, which is why they were so bitter immediately. But those souls that are filled with the devil’s anger also watched as the Kevin Ogletree of life grew that game, and he had eight catches for 114 yards and two touchdowns.

As I wrote earlier this week, expecting Ogletree to instantly become the next Laurent Robinson is premature, and is another example of a leaping reaction. But really, who cares? The price you would pay for Ogletree off the waiver wire is what, dumping your other fifth wide receiver who might blow up too but probably won’t and maybe will but you never really know?

We play a weekly game based on weekly production. So treat it as such, and if you have even the slightest need for WR depth, make a move in which there’s zero risk due to the minimal investment you’re making in Ogletree. I’m writing this rallying cry because we’re well over 24 hours removed from the game, and yet Ogletree is still somehow available in 89 percent of ESPN leagues.

He’s the third wideout on Dallas’ depth chart, which means his production will be inconsistent, and his ability to explode again largely depends on the health of Miles Austin and Dez Bryant. Or at least that’s one common view, and it’s not an incorrect one. Rotoworld’s Patrick Daugherty is a little more optimistic, and thinks that while the opportunities may be a little scarce if Austin and Bryant are healthy, they may actually open up space for Ogletree.

But like Laurent Robinson before him, there’s no reason to believe Ogletree can’t consistently benefit from opposing defenses’ preoccupation with Dallas’ top two wideouts. That is not to say Ogletree has the title of “Next Laurent Robinson” all cinched up. One game is one game, after all.

It is one game. But the Cowboys have a recent history of utilizing multiple wide receivers, meaning although it’s far from guaranteed, it’s possible that Ogletree could give you decent WR3 value down the road.

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There was a time when I believed that the things I say, think, or do have no bearing whatsoever on the universe at large. I thought that if I were to have access to a time traveling device, I could set the dial back 100 years and kill several butterflies. And yet, the world would still turn, and there would not be an apocalyptic moment.

Now, I’m not so sure.

Less than 24 hours ago I had an idea. A simple one, and one that ranked somewhere below zero on the originality scale. Let’s pick a primetime game every week and simulate it on Madden 13, I said to myself loudly with no one around. We could document the results and the notable performances, and write some hilarious commentary. Oh, what fun we would have.

Since I was busy with other matters and unable to do the exhaustive work of watching a computer play a football game for several hours, I dispatched dedicated (see: bored) interns Kyle Smith and Andrew Zuber to tackle this intensive assignment prior to Wednesday’s Giants-Cowboys 2012 kickoff game.

The result? A boring 19-0 Cowboys win, so overall the virtual season opener only pegged the correct winner, and little else. But dig beyond that surface, friend, and you’ll find that we’ve discovered a power which cannot be harnessed, and can’t be placed in the wrong hands.

Through the aid of computer simulation wizardry, we called Kevin Ogletree’s explosion.

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Pictured: God

The waiting is over, and those of you who have been desperately watching the CFL in a vain attempt to fill the football void in your otherwise empty lives finally have something to live for. It’s time to put away your Anthony Calvillo bobble-head, Flutie Flakes, and Pinball Clemons brand “ultra white” dentures, because real football is back*.

Tonight, the NFL regular season kicks off with an NFC divisional matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and the defending Super Bowl champion New York Giants. Many questions will be answered, and those answers will create more questions. Will the Giants suffer from a Super Bowl hangover? Can the Cowboys bounce back after a disappointing 8-8 season? Can Tony Romo avoid being sacked 178 times by the deadly pass rush of the Giants? Will Eli Manning continue to solidify himself as a top tier quarterback, while ultimately becoming the superior Manning? Has Romo finally learned how to properly wear a baseball hat?

I can’t answer all of these questions, but I can tell you who will win the game. No, I’m not a time traveling wizard, I don’t own a crystal ball, and I wasn’t given a copy of Gray’s Sports Almanac by an elderly Biff Tannen. I’ve got something better. I’ve got a copy of Madden 13.

My colleague Archi Zuber and I simulated tonight’s game (yeah, it was a two-person job…a TOUGH job), using seven-minute quarters with the difficulty set to All-Madden. The results were staggeringly accurate (or at least I assume they’ll be staggeringly accurate, because video games have never wronged me before. Except Dig Dug. That guy’s an asshole).

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