Archive for the ‘Miami Dolphins’ Category

Pictured: The entire Bills offense

Tonight’s game between the Dolphins and Bills contains at least a modicum of meaning in reality, and great weight in our fantasy alter existence where Christmas gifts are purchased by taking money from friends. Holiday cheer indeed.

We’re especially hoping for two things to happen tonight: Reggie Bush should have a fun Thursday jog against a run defense that couldn’t stop a Pez dispenser with legs, and even though his matchup is much tougher, C.J. Spiller should thrive when he’s given far more opportunities with Fred Jackson out.

So we took the Madden 13 predictor machine for a spin, as is our usual Thursday custom. What happened next was both boring and predictable, all at the same time. Really, it was the worst kind of suck.

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Consensus line: Bills -2.5 (-115), total 45
Current betting percentage: 68% on the Bills, 51% on the OVER

Individual Team Trends:

  • Dolphins are 8-2 ATS in their last 10 games following a S.U. loss.
  • Dolphins are 19-7-1 ATS in their last 27 road games.
  • Dolphins are 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games following a double-digit loss at home.
  • Bills are 2-5 ATS in their last 7 home games.
  • Bills are 0-4 ATS in their last 4 home games vs. a team with a losing road record.
  • Under is 25-9 in Dolphins last 34 road games.
  • Under is 5-0 in Dolphins last 5 games overall.
  • Over is 5-0 in Bills last 5 home games.
  • Under is 10-4-1 in Bills last 15 home games vs. a team with a losing road record.

Head-to-Head Trends:

  • Dolphins are 6-2 ATS in their last 8 meetings.
  • Favorite is 7-3-1 ATS in their last 11 meetings.

After the special treats that the NFL had in store on the past two Thursday nights, I gotta say, I’m kind of looking forward to this one…kind of. The AFC East is still very much still up for grabs if Tom Brady gets hit by a snowplow in Massachusetts this winter, so this tilt could possibly have some meaning. Both teams enter tonight’s game riding losing streaks with Miami dropping back-to-back games, and Buffalo having lost three straight and five of their last six.

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Buffalo will never be mistaken for Miami, Las Vegas or Toledo for that matter. With that said I love the city. Good people, diabetes inducing food and the Bills mafia have made it one of my favorite cities in the world — seriously.

On the Paul and Young Ron show, Bush was goaded into ripping the fine women of Buffalo. Based on Bush’s taste, they may have dodged a bullet.

But this isn’t TMZ, so instead of criticizing Bush for appearing on a radio show that could’ve been parodied on a horrible Saturday Night Live sketch, we’ll take a look at the declining production of one of this season’s early fantasy stars.

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Dolphins fans and awesome tat/detachable body part ink seem to go together like pants and legs. Every team has crazy fans, but this trend seems to go beyond the simple insanity that’s commonplace among those crazies. The hypothesis I’ve arrived at is that Dolphins fans cling to the one uniting symbol of pride they have left: the team’s perfect season.

Yesterday we met a man who’s taken that just a little too far. As in stomach-covering tattoo too far. Also, I like this man.

He first surfaced during the CBS broadcast as he stood amid a sea of bright orange seats in Miami while watching his beloved Dolphins get pasted by the Titans 37-3. You know, the same Titans team that lost 51-20 last week.

But then later in the evening (or maybe this is an old picture…don’t know, don’t care, because awesomeness takes priority over time sensitivity) this man who likely wasn’t born yet in 1972 had a reason to celebrate. The Falcons’ loss to the Saints guaranteed that yet another year would tick by with the ’72 Dolphins still the only team to have a perfect season.

That’s when this happened: (via the Sports Hernia)

Give me your life, bro. Give me your life.

UPDATE: Tannehill has a hyper-extended knee and deep thigh bruise, according to Miami Herald columnist Armando Salguero. He will undergo an MRI on Monday.

Rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill left the Dolphins game against the Jets with a leg injury after a sack from Calvin Pace.

Tannehill has started all seven games for Miami this season after being selected in the first round (eighth overall) by the Dolphins in the 2012 draft.  On the day, he had completed two passes in five attempts for 18 yards.

Matt Moore, who played in 13 games for the Dolphins in 2011, is now in at quarterback.

Please come back, Matt.

“Don’t worry, it’s still early”

Those are the words of denial, and they’re often the most annoying words that have ever been part of a sentence related to fantasy football. There is no “early” when the playoffs start in Week 15, making the regular season only 14 games long. Some leagues even begin their post season in Week 14.

No, you don’t need to wear water wings every Sunday and dive into a kiddie pool at the first sign of trouble. That would be weird, unnecessary, and it’ll probably piss off your mother. She likes to keep the basement clean.

But on the other end of that extreme, poor performances early in the season or production that falls far below what was expected can’t simply be disregarded because of the calender. Which brings us to Matthew Stafford.

The Lions are 1-3, which has created its own unique brand of panic in Detroit, although fans there are quite familiar with such pain and will easily adapt to any losing environment. But what of Stafford? He was drafted as one of the elite, top tier quarterbacks (ADP of about 10th overall) following a season when he passed for over 5,000 yards. His passing yards this year are holding up, although he’s not on pace to duplicate last year’s upper echelon play (current pace is 4,728 yards). But his touchdowns are down significantly at the quarter pole, as is his passer rating.

Should you be worried? Sigmund Bloom doesn’t think so. I talked to Bloom, a senior writer at Football Guys and a host for The Audible, their excellent and thorough podcast, and I asked him about Stafford after touching on Ryan Mathews, Brandon Bolden and the Patriots’ backfield, and Ryan Tannehill’s keeper outlook.

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Did your first-round pick tear a muscle you can’t pronounce? Is your top running back doing more sucking than running? Welp, let’s look for sleepers and waiver wire gold together, and be wrong together, and cry together.

For anyone who called Week 5 as the week when three Dolphins would end up on this list and two of them would be receivers, well, you need help.

What a world.

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