Archive for the ‘New York Jets’ Category

The Jets’ quarterbacks despise you, and they especially hate your team name. Multiple Scorgasms? Really? So 2006.

It’s a damn shame too, because although this has now been buried in the nether regions of your subconscious, there was a time when Jeremy Kerley was a nice little flex or WR3 play, as despite Mark Sanchez running into large asses he’s only a week removed from catching 10 balls for 86 yards against the patriots. Yeah, much of that came in wretched garbage time, but whatever, it all counts. And taking that further, there are worse options than Kerley to trot out there for the deep leaguers, as he’s averaging 58.4 receiving yards per game. Getting five-ish points out of your flex spot is still the new efficiency.

But there’s little hope for any of that cheap, value flex fun now given the uncertainty around the quarterback position in New York. You think Sanchez was/is bad? Just wait until we get a full game from Greg McElroy or (*lowers voice*) Tim Tebow.

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The Jets’ latest loss to the Patriots couldn’t have been more Jets. The blunders were numerous, highlighted by four fumbles, including Mark Sanchez de-cleating himself by stumbling into the hind region of his own lineman before graciously giving the ball to Steve Gregory, who returned it the other way for a 32-yard score.

Go ahead, try to stop watching the replay. It can’t be done.

But oh, it gets better.

The editors over at the New York Post were surely giggling gleefully as the Patriots came only one point shy of posting 50, winning 49-19. So, quite appropriately, the loss was summarized using Sanchez’s ass.

The highlight for me is the unfortunately-placed ad, as “receive a gift” has taken on an entirely different meaning. He’s all yours, ladies.

Thanks, the entire Internet, but especially Rachel Nichols

Tip 302: Resolve family tension by directing anger at universally hated figure.

At its best, American Thanksgiving is a time to gather the family from all corners of the globe and eat lots of food. The cousin you haven’t seen in seven years, the uncle who just got out of prison — they’re all there. Hey, you might even get to talk about the recent election in a civil manner. It’s just politics after all.

At its worst, American Thanksgiving is a time to question the sanity of your mother as your family camps outside a Best Buy for five days, subsisting on uncooked ramen noodles and expired canned chili. A discussion about the recent election turns into an alcohol-fueled fist fight between brother-in-law Rex (America is doomed) and cousin Jeffrey (America is doomed and he’s a Muslim). Read the rest of this entry »

We’re living in strange times. Colin Kaepernick could win fantasy leagues, Charlie Batch will likely complete a pass to Plaxico Burress this week, and an intoxicated man with weird hair is telling Canadian children that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Don’t listen to him, kids. Believe.

And today in your deep search for value on the waiver wire you’ll encounter another oddity. Bilal Powell has returned, and suddenly there’s common sense in the Jets’ backfield.

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I understand and fully endorse your continued hatred of Shonn Greene. His 161-yard, three touchdown outburst was such a massive outlier that it occurred on the same day that I met a leprechaun. Don’t be fooled by that fraud on the Lucky Charms boxes. Those little green dudes are mean, and they’ve inspired many a douchebag tattoo.

And sure, Greene showed some burst on a few runs last week against the Patriots, and he looked particularly powerful on his touchdown run, with that score alone sort of justifying the decision to start him for those who did. But after his journey that ended with the discovery of a pot of gold two weeks ago, Greene reverted to his plodding, ineffective ways. His longest carry of the day last week was only eight yards, and overall he finished with 54 yards on 16 carries. The arithmetic on that ends in a very mediocre 3.4 yards per carry, which is right on par for a running back who’s averaging 3.5 for the year, even after his Week 6 outburst against a poor Colts run defense.

Taking that further, Week 6 was the only game when Greene’s per carry average climbed above 3.5. He’s been awful, he’s still awful, and under normal conditions today against the league’s third-ranked Dolphins rushing defense that’s allowed only three rushing scores and is giving up ojust 78.2 yards per game, more awfulness would be forthcoming, and your decision Re: Greene would be easy. Bench him, and perhaps burn pictures of him too if you’d really like to take this whole fake team thing way too far.

But normal circumstances are about to get blown away today in East Rutherford, and I mean that quite literally.

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In the search for glimmering jewels which are also humans in real life, there’s an instinct among some to quickly ignore anyone who plays for the New York Jets. Like the reaction to ignore the logic which tells you to start Josh Freeman over Matthew Stafford, the ignorance of all that is Jets is quite understandable.

Even though Mark Sanchez looked surprisingly competent yesterday against soft Patriots coverage, the Jets still have the league’s 28th-ranked passing offense, averaging only 200.4 yards per game through the air. If that average dips only one yard further, the Jets will become one of just five teams plodding along at a pace of less than 200 passing yards weekly.

What’s worse is that they’re also simply not attempting many passes, choosing to either run the suddenly improved Shonn Greene into some bodies, or go all gimmicky with Tim Tebow. The Jets’ per game pass attempt average is just 31.6 (23rd), but when Sanchez does throw and he throws deep, someone has to catch that ball. Or at least ideally that’s the outcome, because throwing a pass that’s intended for no one would be just a little too Sanchez of Sanchez.

When those balls are thrown and hands are outstretched, they’ve primarily belonged to one man, just as they did yesterday.

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Oh, it’s still several degrees of insane. Between running, punt protecting, kick coverage, and — god willing — maybe even throwing a pass or two, Tim Tebow is indeed a Jack of all the trades for the Jets, and a master of no trades. But there’s an intriguing element this week which adds a wrinkle to his minimal (read: barely existing) fantasy value, and possibly even makes him playable for the most desperate of owners in the deepest of leagues.

Two weeks ago, I told you to at least consider adding Tebow, with your motivation for such a thought being that Mark Sanchez sucks, and even on the sucky Jets Tebow still has fantasy value as a starting quarterback if he were to take over the job at some point. Say what you will about his religion, his rain running, or your pursuit of his virginity (good luck), but those are all just narratives that keep Skip Bayless employed. What matters is that in only 11 starts last year, Tebow was one of the highest per game fantasy point producers at his position, rushing for 660 yards. As a quarterback.

And despite some flickering signs of life recently from Sanchez, those in deep-ish leagues should still consider a speculative Tebow add. If you have the roster space, why not stash some potential playoff gold?

But today, we’re focused on other Tebow matters, and even further, desperate reaching.

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