Archive for the ‘Ouch’ Category

Game-time decisions are decided in the time before game time. Also, water is wet, the sky is blue, monsters are scary, and cats suck.

So, as we creep closer to that time tonight, know this, Jonathan Stewart owners: he’s probably not playing. You knew that, though, and hopefully you’ve already made alternative plans. But now it’s just been sort of, almost confirmed.

So thanks, PFT, and Mike Florio’s sources who told him that it “doesn’t look good” for Stewart tonight due to his ankle injury that he aggravated in Week 2. Since we’re not against becoming a record that isn’t rotating properly, repeat this with me again, because it’s a fact that can’t be emphasized enough for fantasy purposes: Thursday night games every week suck.

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Fantasy owners can never just have nice things. The amazing — like Reggie Bush returning to being late 2011 Reggie Bush, C.J. Spiller averaging over 10 yards per carry through his first two games(!!!), and Danny Amendola catching all of the footballs (15 receptions for 160 yards as of this writing), or Eli Manning throwing for 510 yards — always comes with an event which crushes our souls.

So with that I give you Aaron Hernandez, one half of the Patriots’ tight end juggernaut who left New England’s upset loss to Arizona today in the first half with an ankle injury. Shortly after he left word trickled out that the injury did not involve a bone bust of any kind, as his ankle isn’t broken. While that sounded encouraging, there are still muscles in feet and ankles that can be stretched, torn, and twisted, all of which sounds quite painful.

That’s why Pro Football Talk‘s Mike Florio is reporting that Hernandez will be out for up to six weeks. Please send someone to guard all bridges everywhere.

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There’s already been enough fantasy disappointment in Foxborough today so far through just over one quarter of football. Any lead at any point over the Patriots for the Cardinals and their offense led by Kevin Kolb is more than any lead anyone thought they’d have, and they currently lead 6-3.

So yeah, there’s that. Tears in beers, computers in bathtubs, etc.

And now here’s this.

This also seems quite appropriate again…

head asplode!

Hernandez’s return to the game is questionable. Rob Gronkowski owners will immediately benefit from this, as will Wes Welker owners possibly as he’ll inherit the targets that Hernandez takes away with his slot ability.

We’ll update this post as more information becomes available. Stay safe out there, you guys.

UPDATE: His ankle isn’t broken, so that’s good.

Earlier this week we used fuzzy and warm words like “slim” to describe the likelihood of Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis doing anything but playing Sunday against the Steelers. That’s because at the time his concussion was deemed to be of the mild variety, an adjective that still applies.

But concussions are an odd, unpredictable injury, and even though he was cleared for physical activity Thursday and participated in non-contact practice for the first time Friday, there was still a significant hurdle which remained uncleared. That was the part about facing live contact, and a hit of any kind, and therefore Revis has been ruled out for Week 2 by head coach Rex Ryan.

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Brent Grimes was rated the second best cornerback last year by Pro Football Focus, behind only Darrelle Revis. Now his season is over, and while the Falcons’ have depth at the position after the signing of Asante Samuel, and while rejoicing over a man’s injury makes us the kind of fantasy douche that Arian Foster hates, the reality of our fantasy is that this is very awful news for Grimes, and very good news for anyone who owns a premier receiver who’s set to line up against the Falcons.

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Throughout last year and the preseason, Kevin Kolb was a very funny joke to anyone who doesn’t live in Arizona. HAHA, look at that quarterback who gets paid a lot of money and really sucks, is what we all said.

Now Kolb and his teammates are doing the laughing. Except for John Skelton, of course, because he might have a bone that’s protruding at an obtuse angle.

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When the Bills last played a playoff game, Fred Jackson was 19 years old.  Yeah, this dude’s old.

But his legs are actually sort of young, since at 31 years young he’s still never had a 250-carry season. Tell that to his bones and muscles, though, which continue to bend awkwardly after bad hits.

Jackson was the league’s leading rusher last year when his season ended early after a broken bone in his right leg, yet he still had 934 rushing yards over 10 games. So when he suffered a knee injury today in the second quarter of Buffalo’s game against the Jets — a game in which the Bills were trailing by three touchdowns at the time — Bills fans immediately began to do what they do best: despise their existence.

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