First off, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that the proper Buffalo Bills uniform wasn’t available for Timothy Tebow, and he’s had to inherit Ryan Fitzpatrick’s number and hairy arms.
Also, let’s establish off the top that the likelihood of the event that’s about to be described actually becoming a real thing that’s the worst or best thing ever is so very, very low. Oh, and one more disclaimer before we go about the business of making Bills fans — those quite rightfully happy upstate New Yorkers after learning that their team will stick around for at least seven more years — vomit up a lunch they haven’t had yet. As I’ve written repeatedly, I’m not among the eight remaining lost souls who still think Tebow is a viable starting NFL quarterback, and I’m approaching this strictly from a fantasy perspective.
Alright, let’s get on with this then.
Tebow leaving New York in the offseason is, at this point, a mere formality. Or so it seems at least, given the now near daily reports of dissatisfaction on both sides, with Tebow already speaking in the past tense regarding his time as a Jet, and management reportedly set to seek a trade. Because if any quarterback has value on the trade market, it’s one who had only two true suitors last spring in the Jets and Jaguars (or Jag-Wires to some…the worst). The far more realistic expectation is for Tebow to be granted his release, and thus the cycle will begin anew.
When that happens we’ll continue debating where he could possibly find a home to start, because debating is what we do with Tim Tebow, even though he’s been a backup quarterback for a year, and has been entirely irrelevant as it relates to the actual act of playing football. The typical QB-needy destinations will be tossed around, with the Jags and Chiefs leading the list. But if there’s even a shred of an opportunity for Tebow to become the fantasy stud QB he was a year ago and rekindle that 2011 Denver magic, there’s only one destination to where that seems likely.
We’re just going to throw this out there, and if you don’t like it, you can throw it back. We won’t attempt to draw any definitive conclusions either, or read too deeply into the mind, words, and body language of one Pierre Garcon, the Redskins receiver who appeared on ESPN earlier this morning to discuss the state of his team’s offense. You know, the offense that might be playing without Robert Griffin III this week.
Although plenty of good news percolated yesterday regarding Griffin’s injury and his potential playing status this week, the situation is still very difficult to forecast. Which sucks, because when it comes to injuries, fantasy owners need a beautifully sunny forecast. We’d all like to just know Griffin isn’t playing right now if that’s the case so we can begin taking the necessary measures to deal with that reality.
Of course, the Redskins care not for your fantasy implications and the potential monetary gains that accompany them, and for the rest of this week we’ll likely hear very little regarding Griffin’s status before he enters the weekend with the ol’ game-time decision tag. Awesome.
But hey Pierre Garcon, you spend some time in the Redskins’ locker room. Do you have any inside information that you’d like to accidentally spit out to a national audience?
You know what, screw it. If we live in a world where a blogger can’t speculate wildly, then schedule me for death now. Choose your weapon, but dammit don’t you dare kill me with forced Honey Boo Boo viewing. I’ve been better than that.
You heard it yesterday. It came around 4 p.m. ET, and at first it sounded like just your casual scream filled with anguish and agony. Whatever, right? You ignored it at first, assuming a child was just told that Santa Claus doesn’t exist only weeks before Christmas. That is, of course, a filthy lie. For shame.
But then the sound kept growing, and it was more of a groan — a constant, sort of humming groan — that sometimes varied its pitch, though it mostly stayed at the same decibel level. And then it rose to a dramatic crescendo, sort of like this…
You were hearing Robert Griffin III owners, and their failed attempts to suppress their sadness. Let it all out, you guys. Just let it pour out.
Done? Good, because we have work to do. Let’s find a solution to what ails you.
It’s natural to fear what’s unfamiliar and different. I still haven’t outgrown my fear of haircuts, for example. This is likely directly linked to the sight of numerous smooth heads at every family outing, and the everlasting anguish over cutting what may never grow back.
Knowshon Moreno is change. He is all of the change, and every reason to be scared.
You haven’t been able to trust Moreno since…well, have you ever been able to trust Moreno? For a minute forget the fact that prior to his 111 total yards yesterday on 24 touches (20 carries and four receptions) Moreno had been inactive since Week 2, and take a little gander at his totals last year. Sure, Moreno’s 2011 season ended early with an ACL tear, giving Willis McGahee the opportunity to continue running with a job that he had already taken anyway. But even prior to that Week 10 injury he only had 127 rushing yards and 224 total yards over six games. In short, he was the epitome of the plodding, backup runner who gave McGahee a blow while never topping 70 yards of offense in a game.
In shorter, he was exactly who he’s always been: an underwhelming first-round pick who’s only rushed for over 100 yards twice in 39 game appearances, yet he’s still managed to fumble nine times. Truly remarkable.
So should you trust him now? (*Looks at schedule*) Yes.
When you watched Robert Griffin III yesterday, you did it while drowning in your own saliva, especially if you own him. His 311 passing yards against the Cowboys with four touchdowns and one interception in addition to 29 rushing yards adds up to 29 fantasy points using standard scoring. He balled hard.
But that got me thinking, and when I get thinking, usually I do it while hitting black keyboard buttons, and hopefully what comes out is a coherent thought. As the 2012 fantasy football regular season begins to wind down (*shudders*), has RG3 further elelvated the draft value of quarterbacks? It’s a value that was already rising after a draft season this past August when easily three quarterbacks (Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Tom Brady) were first-round picks, with Cam Newton often sneaking in later in the round. When we toss in Newton and Matthew Stafford, five quarterbacks were selected in the first two rounds.
Using the final average draft positions in ESPN leagues, running back easily surpassed that, with nine RBs coming off the board over the first two rounds. And when we go deeper into those ADPs to begin the looking glass gazing towards 2013 (yep, this is happening) in re-draft leagues, what we see is that those holding the first overall pick should still de-emphasize the quarterback position, despite Griffin’s brilliance.
Hope. Sometimes it’s all we have. So if there’s any justice in this world, Jim Schwartz will continue Titus Young’s punishment next week by putting his name behind Ryan Broyles’ on the Lions’ wide receiver depth chart. We know you’re mad, Jim, especially after losing today on a call that’s so embarrassing it made the simultaneous catch botching look tame by comparison, but leave Broyles out of it.
All he did was come within 14 yards of Calvin Johnson’s total receiving yardage today on two fewer receptions.
For fantasy purposes, the Bills’ run defense has been a pungent running back potpourri, as it’s capable of taking the most vile smelling beasts and turning them into clean cut, upstanding individuals who contribute to our fantasy society.
The formula was simple, as if you answered yes to the two questions below, fun times would follow:
1. Do you have a running back on your fantasy team?
2. Is he playing the Buffalo Bills?
And it still is simple, just not as simple. Which makes it hard, but not very hard.