Archive for the ‘Props’ Category

nfldraft

Gambling.

For some, it’s an exciting way to keep sports interesting while also adding an element of danger to their otherwise boring and empty lives (it’s either gamble or make the transition from canned to deviled ham).

For others, it’s a crippling addiction that manifests itself in the form of wagering rent money on Peyton Manning’s ability to throw a football, or Mark Sanchez’s ability to be so incredibly mediocre that you can pretty much put all of your food money on black (“black” being Sanchez doing something hilariously goofy that will no doubt cost the Jets a football game).

We invite those of you that don’t have a degenerate gambling problem and have also had their fill of deviled ham to gamble with us during the first round of the NFL draft.

What else are you going do on a Thursday night? Be a responsible and functioning member of society? I didn’t think so.

Gambling

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I’m really terrible at gambling. It’s probably a combination of not having any money and the fear of being beaten to death by angry bookies when they find out I don’t have any money. But I will never deny the power gambling has to make even the most mundane sporting event feel like the Super Bowl.

Would anyone actually care about a game between the Cleveland Browns and the Kansas City Chiefs if they didn’t have a sizeable chunk of change riding on Matt Cassel’s ability to be the most mediocre quarterback who ever lived?

With that in mind, here are this week’s prop bets. Feel free to send me all of your money. Just don’t expect me to honor any of your winning bets, because if you get burned by a scumbag (me), that’s your own fault.

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Earlier this week, a Las Vegas casino offered refunds to any gamblers who lost money during Monday night’s Seahawks/Packers fiasco (known in many circles as the “Monday night screw-job” and “Golden Gate”).

Unfortunately for you, here at 100 Yards and Running we aren’t giving out refunds. So if you don’t pay us the money you owe by Sunday, we’re going send some hired goons over to your house to break your legs.

Here are this week’s props, but please, make sure you don’t wager money you can’t afford to lose. I don’t want to be responsible for little Timmy not having his medicine money. And if you do lose, don’t try to skip town on us, we have an army of hired goons who are specially trained in the fine art of “swinging a heavy sack of doorknobs”.

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Week 2 of the NFL season is upon us (well, actually it started last night), and it’s time to make your football viewing experience a little more interactive. I know that some of you reading this blog are gamblers who will bet on your son’s pee wee baseball game if it meant you could feel the sweet rush of losing your family’s food budget for the month (Gamblor’s neon claws are a bitch to get away from). This post is for you.

I’m not saying gambling is wrong. On the contrary, I think it can be a fun way to make a game between Cleveland and Cincinnati seem relevant. What I am saying, is that there’s so much more to gambling than just the games themselves.

I want to appeal to the kind of cat who would plop down their hard earned cash predicting how many Chris Berman farts will be audible during Monday Night Countdown this week. (o/u: 6.5)

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On Sundays, I watch about 14 hours of football or football-related television content. I would do this even if I had a normal existence, so the fact that it’s my job is just a convenience.

Usually, aside from a TV and a computer, the items needed to get through a regular-season Sunday are several bowls of Jiffy Pop, a few pepperette sticks, and a long hose that stretches to the bathroom and is arranged in a manner which optimizes flow.

However, as difficult as this is to imagine right now after the league’s kickoff game Wednesday and just a few days away from the first regular-season Sunday, there’s a zombie-ish mind warp that can take place when the consumption of football is equal to the average human’s oxygen intake. To fight it, you need to do more than just watch the game. You need to bet on random shit that’s sort of loosely tied to the game.

To fed your desire to loose imaginary money to some guy on the Internet who makes stuff up, every week we’re going to post some props connected to the Sunday of football ahead. There will be a few of the more normal variety that may not be seen as commonly elsewhere (i.e: the Adrian Peterson question below), but this will primarily be an exercise in the observation of absurdity.

We’ll try to actually track these, and we’ll fail. Thus, a winner will be named arbitrarily, and you’ll be given several office pens filled with bite marks, and the copy of the Sports Illustrated 2005 fantasy football guide that’s inexplicably sitting on my desk.

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