Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Chad Henne is starting because he’s not Blaine Gabbert

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Chad Henne, Rants on Nov 19, 2012

I’m not a Blaine Gabbert fan, but I’m not chugging the Gabbert hatorade either. If we attempt to step back with a calm, logical eye and assess what we’ve seen from Gabbert in his second season, two things should become clear. He’s been wildly inconsistent, and he’s at best an average quarterback, usually hovering somewhere around replacement level. That’s the bad.

The good is that despite what his overall numbers may show, he’s improved as a pocket passer, and he’s done it while battling through a series of injuries this year, and for a chunk of the season he hasn’t had the support of his Pro Bowl running back. When we consider Gabbert, we always need to give equal consideration to the situation in Jacksonville, which is one where the stench of suck lingers heavily.

With that said, here’s something else that’s become clear over the past two games as Chad Henne has been handed the keys to Jacksonville’s Pinto of an offense: at his worst, he’s Gabbert’s equal, and at his best the Jaguars’ offense is moving far more efficiently. That’s good for both reality and fantasy purposes, as hope is at a premium in Jacksonville, and if suddenly Justin Blackmon can become a consistently viable option, he has WR3 potential, especially with upcoming games against pass-friendly defenses (Tennessee this week, and Miami and New England during the fantasy playoffs).

Now we’ll get to see the difference a Henne can make during a somewhat extended period, as Mike Mularkey has already tagged him as the starter for the Jaguars’ Week 12 game against the Titans.

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The problem with the Eagles is that Michael Vick can’t play defense

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Michael Vick, Philadelphia Eagles, Rants on Oct 29, 2012

There are two inevitable truths in the NFL if a team is underachieving, and those struggles are perceived to be centered around the quarterback. First, the quarterback will be benched. Failing that, the head coach will be benched. Forever.

That’s about to happen in Philadelphia, according to Howard Eskin from WIP Sports Radio, with the most anticipated yet still least surprising QB benching in recent memory likely forthcoming. Eskin reports that Andy Reid is indeed leaning towards a change at the position, sitting Michael Vick in favor of third-round rookie Nick Foles. However, Reuben Frank from CSN Philly reports that a benching hasn’t happened yet, and “as of now” Vick remains the starter.

If Reid does finally sever his tether to Vick, Foles needs to be added immediately in all fantasy leagues, and he should be one of the top waiver claims of the week. Starting him isn’t advisable this week if the move is made, except for those in deep leagues who are dealing with Tom Brady’s bye. But with the weapons in Philly’s offense and Foles’ lack of knowledge that he’s supposed to suck as a rookie making his first start in Week 9, buy low on the upside and take a bench flier, and then dump and run if he implodes.

Sure, Vick has struggled, averaging just 5.5 yards per pass attempt yesterday, and he’s infamously turned the ball over 13 times over seven games. It could be worse too since Vick’s fumbled nine times overall and lost only five of them. Last year over 13 games he had 10 fumbles, losing five.

But similar to the fabricated sense of slate cleansing that was brought on by the firing of Juan Castillo, installing a rookie quarterback at midseason won’t turn around an offense that’s playing far below its potential. Vick has been a problem with his overall regression, and failure to protect the football and use his unique athletic ability to thrive through improvising as he’s done in the past.

A far greater problem, though, is the fact that Vick or Foles or whoever can’t play defense.

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Cam Newton will be just fine

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers, Rants on Oct 10, 2012

Every league has an impulsive decision maker. They’re just one of the required cast of characters/caricatures which blend together in a beautiful cornucopia of personality pontification. Yes, that’s possible and it’s a thing, and it happens when people become something entirely different on the Internet than the person they portray in their real-life existence. In every league there’s also the compulsive draft complainer who moans when someone (anyone) takes more than 15 seconds off the clock. Then there’s the guy who makes at least eight waiver claims a week, and the guy who changes his team name almost daily, because he’s hipster and super cool.

But there’s one particular creature who begs for your attention. His palms are clammy, and his hair unkempt. He wears little more than Bananas in Pajamas boxers while in his place of residence, where he hovers over his computer, which of course has your fantasy league as its home page. He reads relentlessly, and watches multiple taking head-based shows in which grown men yell clichès repeatedly, and somehow that becomes their own language complete with unlimited laughter.

They are the irrational, sometimes unhinged owner, and they want to trade you Cam Newton.

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Picking up Devery Henderson means you’re giving up on your fantasy season

Posted by Oliver Macklem under Devery Henderson, Rants on Oct 08, 2012

Ed. Note: Today is Thanksgiving in the great nation of Canada. It’s sort of like American Thanksgiving, except much worse because there’s no NFL triple-header, and therefore we have to converse with our families. As such, content will be lighter, but here’s Oliver Macklem with some timely advice, and Rob Pizzola will be around shortly with his Monday Night Football pick for those who mix gambling with family time.

Every fantasy sports league ever has one player on the waiver wire who serves as a litmus test. If said player is picked up, it means the team he is heading to, well, sucks. He’s that one guy whose rotten stench has permeated your nostrils because he’s been sitting on the waiver wire for so long, and he’s just not  productive enough for any owner to consider picking him up. Any team willing to lay hands on this player is clearly doomed and is openly admitting to failure.

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Please don’t break, Robert Griffin III

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Rants, Robert Griffin III, Washington Redskins on Sep 27, 2012

Last March and April when we were all scrutinizing Robert Griffin III’s 40-yard dash time and perhaps even coming to the conclusion that he may not be as confident as, say, Ryan Tannehill due to the latter’s model wife — because that’s a thing which is actually used to measure such intangibles which cannot be measured –there was an easy, sometimes lazy comparison which percolated, and would never die.

Robert Griffin III was Michael Vick, we all said. That’s because every quarterback who can run and be evasive with his legs was once injected with the Michael Vick gene at birth, something team scientists have been brewing and perfecting for years. Cam Newton is also Vick, and so is every even moderately mobile quarterback who has a good run once every week or two, and therefore they looked like Vick on said play.

In short, we are all Michael Vick if we’ve ever sprinted with a football.

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Ron Jaworski is now the king of the curmudgeons

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Rants, Ron Jaworski on Sep 17, 2012

There are people — far, far too many people — who were once associated with the game of football in some way, and they’re now paid handsomely to spew idiocy to you through the moving pictures on your TV. The common assumption is that this exercise peaks right now, during the five months of the NFL’s regular season and playoffs. Sadly, that’s wrong, because what the hell are we supposed to talk about from mid February until late July, and especially between the end of the draft and the start of training camp?

Tim Tebow, because of course. And we can just complain about stuff.

This cult of talking heads breeds and multiplies every offseason as coaches are fired, and players retire. They seek to entertain you, and in doing so they become intolerably annoying. For example: if you put yourself through the pre-game show tonight, a few minutes prior to kickoff as it’s wrapping up four grown men will make grotesque faces on your TV while screaming something about a BEEEAAAASSTTTTTT.

Mostly, though, talking heads seek to make you angry with epic, Skip Bayless-level trolling. That’s why I try to ignore them, but sometimes their idiocy can’t be walled off.

With that I present to you Ron Jaworski, king of the curmudgeons.

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Don’t start Adrian Peterson this weekend

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings, Rants on Sep 06, 2012

Adrian Peterson will maybe, probably, most likely play this weekend. As Jene Bramel told us yesterday, that in itself is a remarkable achievement considering both his significant injuries (torn ACL and MCL, and meniscus damage), and the lateness of his injury, with the blow coming during the Vikings’ final game of the 2011 season. There’s concern over Jamaal Charles, for example, but not nearly as much because he tore only his ACL, and he did it in Week 2, meaning he’s three months ahead of Peterson in his recovery.

Peterson’s playing status for Sunday when the Vikes open their season at home against Jacksonville is the kind of status that’s vague and aggravating. Ahhh, the game-time decision, always fueling both optimism and angst. Unlike, say, Marshawn Lynch and his likely gameday call due to back spasms, your choice to start or not to start Peterson should be easy.

Just stay the hell away.

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