Archive for the ‘Reality’ Category

No suspension for Ed Reed

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Ed Reed, Reality on Nov 20, 2012

Yesterday, Ed Reed was branded as a dirty player after he was handed a one-game suspension following his hit on Emmanuel Sanders, a hit which was supposedly the culmination of his dirtiness since he was punished for repeated violations dating back to 2010. The dirty stigma is attached to any suspension due to head hunting or just general idiocy (see: James Harrison, Ndamukong Suh).

Now, less than 24 hours later after his appeal, it’s been decided that Reed’s actions are bad, but not suspension bad, and therefore in terms of public perception he’s no longer considered to be in the same sentence as Harrison and Suh for his level of dirt.

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Beyonce is your Super Bowl XLVII halftime performer

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Reality, Super Bowl XLVII on Oct 16, 2012

Now you’ll get to stare at Beyonce during halftime of this year’s Super Bowl, and it won’t be through fuzzy Youtube videos, or that folder of pics in the secret drawer of your bedside table that no one’s supposed to know about.

The Associated Press reports that Beyonce will lead this year’s halftime hip gyrating, making her the first source of Super Bowl entertainment who’s under the age of 92 since Janet Jackson gave a nation of men their first boob sighting. The AP’s source also said that an official announcement is expected tomorrow, and that will immediately inspire male pelvic thrusting at your local tavern.

UPDATE: The official announcement came a day earlier than expected, and Beyonce has been confirmed as the headline halftime performer for Super Bowl XLVII. She sealed it with a kiss…

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Goodell reduces two bounty suspensions, but Vilma is still out for the year

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Jonathan Vilma, New Orleans Saints, Reality on Oct 09, 2012

When an appeals panel ruled in favor of the four players involved in the Saints bounty debacle that won’t reach some kind of finality for at least another seven years, the result was a case file given back to Roger Goodell, and he was then tasked with handing out more fitting penalties.

Now his next ruling has been issued, and it looks nearly the same as his first ruling. Just die, offseason of 2012.

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Josh Cribbs’ family didn’t want him to play football anymore after last week’s hit

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Cleveland Browns, Josh Cribbs, Reality on Oct 04, 2012

Josh Cribbs has absorbed a few massive, crushing blows that initiate the male animal instinct to jump up, wave a towel that was inexplicably sitting nearby, and yell OOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!1.

First, there was this…

That was in 2010, and it led to a concussion and a one-game absence. The James Harrison hit came early in a season that saw a weekly circus of head banging that eventually led to drastic off-season rules to curb the practice of launching at heads. Those rules were equally polarizing and protective, with blood thirsty fans saying they’re no longer entertained and they feared the demise of their gladiator sport, while the rest of us realized that evolution is a natural process of our civilized world.

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Pagano diagnosed with leukemia, will miss at least a month

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Chuck Pagano, Indianapolis Colts, Reality on Oct 01, 2012

Indianapolis Colts head coach Chuck Pagano has been diagnosed with leukemia, and just several weeks into his first tenure as an NFL head coach, he’ll now be taking a leave of absence.

That absence, of course, is a far lesser concern than his health. Mike Freeman of CBS Sports reports that Pagano is expected to miss up to a month, while ESPN’s Chris Mortensen says that offensive coordinator Bruce Arians will take over as the interim head coach.

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Steve Sabol forever changed the way we watch football

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Reality, Steve Sabol on Sep 18, 2012

Steve Sabol, the president of NFL Films and one of its founding members alongside his father Ed, has passed away after an 18-month battle with brain cancer. He was 69.

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Michael Turner charged with DUI

Posted by Kyle Smith under Atlanta Falcons, Michael Turner, Reality on Sep 18, 2012

There are many ways a man can celebrate a win. In little league, the victors were usually taken out for pizza or ice cream, while the losers usually got pizza too, but they didn’t get any toppings. Toppings are for winners.

Atlanta Falcons running back Michael Turner is a grown up, and he celebrated the Falcons’ Monday Night Football win over Denver like only a (stupid) grown up can. No, he didn’t hit up a Papa John’s or Baskin Robbins. Instead, he decided to drive his expensive car alarmingly fast while fueled by good old fashioned adrenaline.

Oh yeah, alcohol. He was also apparently fueled by alcohol.

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