Oh, so you’re telling me that the guy who’s been accused of holding on a play which could have resulted in a very different outcome for Super Bowl XLVII doesn’t think he held anyone or anything? Please, tell me more.
Yes, Jimmy Smith saying that he didn’t hold Michael Crabtree is about as surprising as everyone in the northeast today telling everyone who isn’t in the northeast that everyone in the northeast doesn’t enjoy snow. In other news, expected things are still expected.
I feel sorry for the Super Bowl MVP every year. Not because they won the Super Bowl, and definitely not because they were named the MVP. Those two things are pretty alright.
No, it’s this: the endless circle of media circuiting following the game looks downright daunting.
I know, I know. They’re mega superstar athletes, and as such dealing with inane questions before and after the Super Bowl is very much part of the job description. And they all laugh it off, as Joe Flacco did this morning during an appearance on the Kelly and Michael Show.
But Joe, you didn’t answer Kelly Ripa’s (indirect) question. Inquiring minds must know: how exactly do you have sex with your wife? Thanks for your time.
This landed on my digital desk yesterday courtesy of the always keen-eyed Drew Fairservice. I meant to post it then before it surfaced in many other places, honest, but I became a victim of other more pressing matters at the time. You know, like Rob Gronkowski’s porn career.
Anyways, the fine city of Winnipeg had many complex opinions on the Super Bowl, according to this Winnipeg Sun poll:
When the Ravens were preparing for the punt that followed their intentional safety — which would be the last play of Super Bowl XLVII, regardless of the result — Joe Flacco was pacing nervously on the sideline, knowing that Ted Ginn Jr. is a pretty dangerous dude. Throughout his six-year career Ginn has six return touchdowns, three on a kickoff, and three following a punt.
If he sprung one we’d be celebrating a different champion right now, and a different Super Bowl MVP. So Flacco had a rather innovative solution…
“Palpably Unfair Act. A player or substitute shall not interfere with play by any act which is palpably unfair. Penalty: For a palpably unfair act: Offender may be disqualified. The Referee, after consulting his crew, enforces any such distance penalty as they consider equitable and irrespective of any other specified code penalty. The Referee may award a score.”
Flacco was just being a funny guy who isn’t dull at all, of course. But had such an absurd moment actually happened, Ginn still would have been awarded a touchdown, and Flacco would have been Billy Cundiff’ed in Baltimore.
Over the past three days I’ve watched and re-watched highlights of Sunday’s Super Bowl. It’s a yearly exercise I go through to cope with the end of football. These are dark, depressing times, and we need to lean on each other to get through the first Sunday of the offseason (true story: one offseason I felt so lost and empty in February that I actually started to watch NASCAR on Sundays to fill the void…a low point that still brings me deep shame).
As I’ve done that, I’ve also taken that process of observation further beyond just Sunday and to the playoffs as a whole. And I keep arriving at one bit of Ravens awesomeness that’s being a little overlooked amid the overwhelming awesome that was Joe Flacco and Jacboy Jones. It goes by the name of Anquan Boldin.
Ignore a few factual details, as I’m sure it was difficult to find a Lego Jacoby Jones, or any member of the Ravens’ offensive line (Ray Lewis is a BEAST of a tackle). Also, two Ray Rices on the field is surely problematic for the defense, especially when the mismatch that created resulted in Alex Smith cover Ray Rice (A).
Know this, though: Lego Chris Culliver (who’s assumed the body of Michael Crabtree) is a chump.
Anyone who’s played football with any degree of even moderate success knows that the days after the end of the season are tough. Losing a championship game is brutal, but really it’s just the beginning of a long offseason. Save all the positive and constructive language you want for next year. Losing hurts.