Green Bay Packers tight end Tom Crabtree is doing everything he can during training camp to maintain a sharp focus. He even quit Twitter because he thought it was too big of a distraction (which is crazy because Crabtree has become a Twitter superstar). He’s looking for any edge, which includes a secret weapon that has been criminally underused within the football fraternity.
Is he using steroids? Is he gaining a cardio advantage by secretly working out to Richard Simmons’ Sweating to the Oldies Volumes one, three, and six? Has he undergone a dangerous and experimental operation that replaces his blood with Red Bull and his skeletal structure with a titanium alloy?
No, he has done none of these things. According to fellow tight end D.J. Williams, he’s been rocking to Celine Dion.