Archive for the ‘Washington Redskins’ Category

I’d like you to close your eyes, and drift back to a time when hope still lived. It was, oh, about two months ago.

August of the year 2012 was a wondrous time, and solely because scientists finally perfected the bionic eye. But we’ll remember it for so much more, for it is the month of the Morris. Alfred Morris.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last March and April when we were all scrutinizing Robert Griffin III’s 40-yard dash time and perhaps even coming to the conclusion that he may not be as confident as, say, Ryan Tannehill due to the latter’s model wife — because that’s a thing which is actually used to measure such intangibles which cannot be measured –there was an easy, sometimes lazy comparison which percolated, and would never die.

Robert Griffin III was Michael Vick, we all said. That’s because every quarterback who can run and be evasive with his legs was once injected with the Michael Vick gene at birth, something team scientists have been brewing and perfecting for years. Cam Newton is also Vick, and so is every even moderately mobile quarterback who has a good run once every week or two, and therefore they looked like Vick on said play.

In short, we are all Michael Vick if we’ve ever sprinted with a football.

Read the rest of this entry »

So hey, remember those warm and fuzzy times when everything was perfect in Washington after Robert Griffin III made his regular-season debut, and he looked like some combination of Zeus and Aqua Man?

Yeah, that was a week ago. Now there’s this…

And this…

And Orakpo will have more time for this

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Read the rest of this entry »

For the most part, I hate Internet memes. Sometimes they start out clever or funny, but they all eventually get beaten into the ground by late comers who are trying to stay relevant (for example, a 45-year-old dad who’s still making Chuck Norris references in the year 2012).

Sometimes memes become living, breathing acts like planking, Tebowing, and Griffining, where people perform dumbass activities in public because they think a bunch of strangers on the Internet will be delighted. Guess what, we were delighted, the first 1.6 million times we saw it. Afterwards we grew tired of our social media feeds being choked by pictures of you looking like a complete dolt.

The NFL is not immune to such chicanery. As I’ve already mentioned, there’s Tebowing and Griffining, and there’s also Bradying. And now there’s Morganing.

Read the rest of this entry »

RG3′s second NFL start comes against Sam Bradford and the Rams this afternoon. As a neutral, Griffin’s debut was the performance of opening week – one that featured Pierre Garcon early and often until the former Colts wide reciever injured his foot late in the second quarter.

Unfortunately for Griffin owners, Garcon has been ruled out of today’s contest. Fret not desperate fantasy player who waited till 3 pm on Sunday to fill out your lineup – certainly this person exists.

Fred Davis, Santana Moss and even Aldrick Robinson should see more targets against an inexperienced, yet tallented Rams secondary. I’m looking forward to seeing who comes out on top in the battle between Griffin and Janoris Jenkins – who was also fantastic in week one.

Antonio Gates and Ryan Mathews are out

Via Chargers beat reporter Kevin Acee, Antonio Gates will miss today’s game against the Titans. The tight end tried to give his sore ribs a go in warmups this morning, but apparently that did not go well. Yes, Randy McMichael is still a thing that exists, but he’s not worth a play in Gates’ absence.

Ryan Matthews will not play either in a double blow for Norv Turner and the Chargers.

Sidney Rice is active

To confirm what we expected, Sidney Rice is active for the Seahawks tilt with Dallas. It’s still risky to rely on Russell Wilson to feed Rice and Doug Baldwin with touches.

Hernandez’s ankle is not broken

Some good news for Patriots fans lamenting the injury to Aaron Hernandez. Patriots beat reporter Jeff Howe reports the tight end’s ankle is not broken.

As fans of the NFL reveled in RG3′s impressive debut the impending doom that began to fester in my gut couldn’t be ignored. We would ruin this, just like we have almost everything else in the world. It took a couple days, but sure enough it happened. “Griffining’ is now a thing. You people – referring to all of you, mass blame is the way to go – realize this can only result in bad things, right? If ESPN jumping on the train isn’t a sure sign of how terrible this is then I’m not sure what is.

That’s because Rex Grossman is inactive, and while normally that wouldn’t be notable, today it means that during the first game of Robert Griffin III’s career, the Redskins are cool with having only two rookies at the quarterback position. They’re fine with that despite RG3′s status as a mobile, scrambling quarterback who could therefore expose himself to injury quickly.

Say what you will about Rex Grossman. He’s terrible. He’s inaccurate. He throws too many interceptions. And he’s terrible.

Those are all reasons why he’ll never be a starting quarterback in the NFL again. But he still has a cannon, and far more importantly, he possesses the most important attribute a backup QB can have, especially when he’s playing behind a rookie: experience.

So the Redskins are one awkward fall away from a Kirk Cousins appearance. He impressed during the preseason, but he did that mostly against second and third stringers. Oh, and they’re also supporting their rookie quarterback who’s being backed up by a rookie quarterback with a rookie running back who was a sixth-round pick.

Welcome to the Redskins 2012 season.