Archive for the ‘Week 1’ Category

Hey, remember that cuddly Ryan Mathews optimism we poisoned you with earlier this week? Yeah, he still hates you. And us. He hates all of us, for Mathews is the keeper of our hope, the builder of our optimism, and the destroyer of our ambition.

Say, maybe we’re taking this fantasy football deal a little too seriously? Nah. Moving on then.

Read the rest of this entry »

The word “likely” was inserted into that headline out of clinging, desperate, misguided optimism. When it comes to replacement officials, we’re sort of like the pimple-faced 16-year-old who screams in terror and calls his local Internet provider while watching Kate Upton cut her shirt in half, hoping against hope that his connection returns upon the 18th viewing.

But alas, it seems that for both those whose pubescent urges are uncontrollable and those who seek competent officiating in their NFL games, hope is fleeting, and fading. That’s odd, because I’ve never once concluded that those two groups would have something in common.

Read the rest of this entry »

When Sidney Rice is healthy, he’s good. No, he’s very good, and he proved it with his 1,312 receiving yards back in 2009, which was good enough to place him among the top five receivers that year, behind only Andre Johnson, Wes Welker, and Miles Austin. He can run very fast and catch a football, and he can do that very often. That much we know.

But five years into his NFL career, we still don’t know if he can handle the rigors of a season. So far, there’s very little reason to think he’ll ever be able to withstand the required punishment. Don’t tell him that, though, because he’s playing in Week 1. Just ask him.

Read the rest of this entry »