With Thanksgiving and the NHL’s return stuffed into this past weekend, it’s easy to see why Canadians may have enjoyed a few too many adult beverages. I for one can attest to that. But as you know, that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes too much alcohol can lead to bad decision making. I’m not implying anything about the Ottawa Senators weekend performance, I’m merely speaking in generalities.
Since I’m a very nice dude, I’ve decided to give back to the great readers of Houses of The Hockey. I’ve compiled several thoughtful and wise drinking pointers for your next night out:
- Watch what you say to other people in the bar. Don’t cause trouble or start fights. If you do, be prepared to fight two Russian thugs named Pavel and Ilya.
- There’s a new drinking game in Toronto called “Gunnarshot.” I’m warning you now, it’s not for everyone. You must be able to hold your liquor well since the game’s only requirement is to take a shot of vodka each time Carl Gunnarsson turns the puck over.
- Spending a night drinking with an NHL star may be cool, but be careful. While an evening out with Mike Ribeiro might lead to a harmless sleepover in the drunk-tank, a night out with Dion Phaneuf could result in a sore throat and a four year prison sentence in Toronto.
- Men: Don’t be that guy in the group that always drinks way too much and becomes a walking disaster. If you are that guy and become a problem, you should know the Washington Capitals AHL affiliate has a semi-permanent place for you in Hershey.
- Men: If you’d like your night on the town to include female companionship, be confident. Even if dozens of women turn you down, take comfort knowing you’re still going to score more than the Anaheim Ducks.
- If you drink enough alcohol, you’ll probably start to feel woozy, light-headed and possibly have trouble walking. Basically you will feel like the majority of the New York Islanders.
To everyone still on holiday (ie. Canadians and people pretending to be Canadian to get the day off work), please enjoy your booze responsibly. You don’t want to be known as the town drunk, or worse, the guy who actually approved Shawn Horcoff’s game winning goal last night.