Seven Creepy Hockey Commercials

Earlier Scott Lewis posted a rather disturbing clip of Bruce Boudreau dancing in track pants in order to advertise a Mercedes Dealership.  As strange as that commercial may be, it’s unfortunately not the first to feature a creepy hockey personality.

Here are seven other hockey-related commercials that will make you check under your bed twice before you head to sleep tonight.

Mario Lemieux is one of the greatest hockey players of all time, but watching him give an awkward smile as he lifts a child up against a life-size photo of himself is one of the more disturbing things ever broadcast.

This series of ads for the NHL definitely had several awkward moments.  However, the image of Peter Forsberg – in his full Flyers uniform – lying in bed beside this poor man’s wife is definitely the weirdest.  Can you image being that guy?  You walk out of the bathroom, your teeth minty fresh, only to see your wife in bed with a professional athlete.  The athlete then proceeds to smash your lamp.  That’s probably grounds for divorce.

We posted another commercial from this series a while ago, but the creepy factor in this particular one is much higher.  Maybe it’s the fact that this kid is keeping Ovechkin’s disembodied head inside his locker, maybe it’s because he is taking instructions from the head or maybe it’s the insane laughter at the end, but watching this commercial definitely leads to nightmares.

There’s something about watching Mark Messier attempt to teach a Russian player how to say “Always Fresh” and the player’s subsequent mispronunciation that instills fear.  The stare down  and random punch at the end make it even more bizarre.

We don’t even know if this is a television commercial or an in-game promo, but it scares us.  Jaromir Jagr in a Santa costume: Check!  Ominous voice over reminiscent of Yello’s “Oh Yeah”: Check!  Awkward waving from Jagr Claus: Check!

Seriously?  Rob Ray just beat a delivery man to death because he didn’t have identification?  This one isn’t so much creepy as it is terrifying.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says.  Watching Adam Oates “searching for loose rebounds” is creepy.  It just is.  Oates’ closing line of the ad and perverted look make us fear for this woman’s safety.  We want to know if she was ever seen again after this commercial was filmed.  From the ad, it seems like Oates would have her taped to a table Dexter-style within minutes if he got the opportunity.

So there you have it!  Seven hockey-related commercials all varying in levels of creepiness.  We wanted to include the Doug Gilmour “Got Milk?” ads where he had cow legs, but those have seemingly been wiped from the Internet.

Society is safer that way.