The NHL is apparently going after the elderly, the unemployed and stoned college students with their latest marketing plan.  While ignoring our ideas to promote the Winter Classic, the NHL has announced the Crosby and Ovechkin will be appearing on The Price is Right together.

This doesn’t seem like the most natural partnership.  Not only will the two players likely be forced into some awkward banter between the two of them, but the addition of Jeremy Roenick will only succeed to make Crosby seem even more boring than usual.

However, it may work anyway.  We’ve come up with our idea of how the episode should play out.

  • Producers could confuse and anger Ovechkin by having contestants bid on things like the Stanley Cup and an Olympic gold medal.
  • Host Drew Carey could further show off his dramatic weight loss by challenging the NHL stars to an athletic competition.  We figure it can’t be any worse than the time he was in the Royal Rumble:

  • One of the prizes in the Showcase Showdown could be Sidney Crosby’s filthy hat.
  • Special guest Brandon Dubinsky will storm the set, fight Alex Ovechkin and accuse Sidney Crosby of being dirty.
  • Jeremy Roenick will burst into tears after someone hits the one dollar marker on the big wheel claiming that he “never got to do that.
  • Producers could confuse and anger Crosby by having contestants bid on things like a personality and a social life.
  • Gary Bettman could demand that every single prizing game is played by only Crosby and Ovechkin while failing to pay any attention to anyone else that is participating on the show.
  • Obviously the show should be played outside at Heinz Field.  Someone freezing during “Cliff Hangers” will lead to the additional media attention that the NHL craves.
  • Keeping with the hockey theme, the game “Plinko” will be replaced by a new contest called “Pinko” featuring Don Cherry.
  • In a bit of cross promotion, the loser of the Winter Classic will be ushered off the ice to the sound of the Price is Right loser horn.