Because we all know there’s nothing a hockey player loves more than taking his shirt off…

After reading Dustin Parkes’ fantastic ‘Top Eight Worst Bleacher Report Baseball Posts Of All Time Ever In The World’, Rick Moldovanyi and I were kicking around ideas for a really awful Bleacher Report-esque post. Knowing full well that you can’t objectify men without pissing a few people off, this is what we elected run with:

Hal Gill and Jordan Staal are probably not sober here

Somebody took Gretzky’s shirt – quick, give it back

Modano is a dreamboat

Patrick Kane’s limo ride

I’ll take my shirt off if you take yours off

We’ll take thirds on that

They call him “The Bod”

Nice pecs, Sean Avery

Tom Gilbert knows how to party

Crosby? More like Godsby

Messier and a stubby one