Hoping to give the fans an inside look at all of the paper-shuffling, Internet-surfing and Blackberry-usage that takes place in the offices of MLSE, the Toronto Maple Leafs have set up a live stream of their boardroom for the trade deadline.

At first glance, this seems amazing, but then you realize that there is no sound on the feed.

However, we have managed to secure audio from that room through various nefarious means.  Don’t ask us how.  Here are a few things we’ve overheard in the Toronto Maple Leafs’ boardroom today.

  • “So…. I’ve heard a rumour that we picked up something called ‘first-round draft picks’ recently.  What the hell are we supposed to do with those!?”
  • “Okay… I’ve called the Anaheim Ducks and I couldn’t set up a trade.  There’s no one else to contact, right?  Nice.”
  • “Does anyone else feel strangely empty without our daily attempts to force Tomas Kaberle to waive his no trade clause?”
  • “I’m so glad I was reminded of Justin Pogge today.”
  • “Moon the camera.  Seriously.  Do it or Brian Burke will send you to the Marlies.”
  • “Did you hear Radek Dvorak has been traded to Atlanta? This is the kind of groundbreaking stuff that makes me glad we have nonstop coverage of the deadline in Canada.”
  • “Is there any possible way that we can add an additional $3 million to Colby Armstrong’s salary?”
  • “We’re paying Darcy Tucker HOW MUCH this season!?”
  • “YES!  I am interested in saving on long distance!  Tell me more!”
  • “Okay, I just called Calgary and offered them Gary Leeman, Alexander Godynyuk, Jeff Reese, Michel Petit and Craig Berube for Doug Gilmour, Jamie Macoun, Ric Nattress, Kent Manderville and Rick Wamsley. They accepted.”
  • “I’ve turned the music in here down several times already.  How does it keep… Dion!?  What are you doing in here!?”
  • “So, James Franco hosted the Oscars yesterday, eh?”
  • “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
  • “Does anyone have any idea for these draft picks other than sending them to Boston?  No?  Good.”
  • “I read somewhere that the Leafs are back in the playoff race.  Is that some sort of athletic contest?  How do we play?’”
  • “I called Mike Gillis and asked about the Sedins again.  He told me to stop calling and hung up.  I know Brian told me to call every ten minutes, but I feel like I’m being annoying.”
  • “So… who would you guys pick to be on Team Canada in 2014?”