The Dump and Chase – 03/03/2011

Zach Parise Cleared to Skate

Great news for the New Jersey Devils as Zach Parise is set to begin skating. Parise is planning on returning before the end of the season which, with playoffs hopes still alive, would provide a boost to a resurgent Devils team. Devils GM Lou Lamoriello won’t give a definite timeline, but figures Parise will need 2-3 weeks to get his legs where they need to be, via Tom Gulitti of Fire & Ice:

“Right now, the examination said he’s where he should be today where the next step is he can go out and get some exercise and get all those muscles that are used in skating to start get the circulation going,” Lamoriello said. “But he can’t do anything in areas of stops and starts and things like that until he builds the strength where he has to get it.

“How long will that take? I say two to three weeks minimum so I don’t have to answer questions for three weeks because it could be more and I don’t know. It’s not going to be less. That I can assure you. It can’t be less just simply because of how long it takes to get certain measurements in your legs where they should be.”

Patrice Bergeron Channels His Inner Charlie Sheen

The fine people at Days of Y’Orr snagged an audio clip of Patrice Bergeron impersonating Charlie Sheen on the Gresh and Zoe show. Bergeron is #winning with this line: “I’m on a drug and it’s called Charlie Sheen”.

Ovechkin Returns to Twitter

In what is either going to provide the most damning evidence yet that Alex Ovechkin is indeed a party boy, or a seemingly endless supply of ‘in Russia’ jokes – the Great 8 has returned to Twitter following a 2+ year absence. One of the first things tweeted upon his return: a month old shot of ‘Mr. Irrelevant’ Phil Kessel from the All-Star fantasy draft accompanied with a simple but effective “Hahahhaahhaa”. Oh boy, this should be entertaining… Puck Daddy has more on the greatest thing to happen to Twitter since Charlie Sheen signed up on Tuesday.

Kovalchuk’s Laser FTW

Report: Bob Probert Had Degenerative Brain Disease

A huge story that should have an impact on the game of hockey as we know it, via CBCSports:

Researchers at Boston University found a degenerative disease in brain tissue donated by former NHL enforcer Bob Probert, according to reports in The New York Times and The Globe and Mail in Toronto.

Probert had chronic traumatic encephalopathy when he died last July of heart failure at age 45. He played 16 seasons in the NHL and his 3,300 penalty minutes ranks fifth on the league’s career list.

Probert is the second hockey player from the program at the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy to be diagnosed with the disease after death. Reggie Fleming, a 1960s enforcer who played before helmets became mandatory, also had CTE.

“How much is the hockey and how much is the fighting, we don’t really know,” Dr. Robert Cantu, the co-director of the center, told the Times for a story posted on its website Wednesday night. “We haven’t definitely established that the skills of hockey as a sport lead to a certain percentage of participants developing CTE. But it can happen to hockey players, and while they’re still relatively young.”

Now Tie Your Skates Together, Toni Lydman and Danny Cleary