For the first time since 2007, Marian Hossa will not be in the Stanley Cup Final.  This is certainly a strange concept for many, including Hossa himself.  We believe that Hossa may be having an incredibly difficult time dealing with this fact.  We bet that it’s gotten so bad that he’d willing to do almost anything to continue playing hockey this year.

So, Marian, if you need some suggestions on what you should do with this new found “free time” on your hands, we’ve put together a couple suggestions for you.

Join A Recreational Hockey League

Sure, you won’t be competing for the Stanley Cup, but you could be competing for a case of beer and some chicken wings after the game.  That’s more than you ever got to play for as a member of the Atlanta Thrashers, so at least this wouldn’t be the low point of your career.

Play in the World Championships

The IIHF World Hockey Championship is set to take place in Slovakia.  Marian Hossa is from Slovakia.  This just makes too much sense.  After years of competing for the actual Stanley Cup, Hossa could easily find himself competing for the “Trophy that some people play for when they can’t win the Cup.”  The downside here is that Hossa won’t be able to jump to the Canadian or American teams if Slovakia is unsuccessful.

Call up Ilya Kovalchuk for ideas

Sure, this doesn’t involve playing hockey, but if there’s anyone who knows what to do while everyone else is trying to win the Cup, it’s Ilya Kovalchuk.  Hossa and Kovalchuk probably have a lot of good memories from their time in Atlanta together and we’re guessing that none of those memories involve the Stanley Cup.  It will be good for Hossa to get as far away from playing for a championship as possible for a while.

Maybe the two players can compare the lengths of their contracts with one another and laugh about how mad they made the NHL when they signed them.

Desperately try to join a team like the Canucks or the Capitals

We saw how Hossa’s of jumping from contender to contender finally paid off  in 2010, so why would he stop now? Sure, he signed a large contract with the Blackhawks last summer, but that shouldn’t put an end to this grand tradition.

Marian Hossa, if you’re truly dedicated to appearing in every Stanley Cup Final for the rest of history, you’ll find a way to switch teams again.  Do it for the sake of history.

Try to rile up the fans in Pittsburgh and Detroit again

This might not be the easiest suggestion, but it would probably be the most fun.  Fans in Pittsburgh hated Hossa when he left the Penguins to play for the rival Red Wings.  Then fans in Detroit hated Hossa when he left the Red Wings to play for the rival Blackhawks.  Now it’s time to bring that hate back.  How?  We’re not sure.  Maybe he could come up with a way that would simultaneously insult both Mario Lemieux and an octopus.  Some sort of graphic drawing perhaps?