The Dump and Chase – 05/04/2011

Capitals on the brink of elimination

The Washington Capitals went for the jugular early in the third period and missed. If you don’t kill Dwayne Roloson, you will only make him angry. Like most men his age (41), when Dwayne Roloson gets angry he probably reaches for a drink – but not until after he frustrates an offence into fits of apathetic play. Although the Capitals would take it to Roloson’s trachea in the final frame, the team came out flat otherwise.

Bruce Boudreau’s sideshow of sloppy changes is now down 3-0 to the Lightning, and Game 3 was one of their better overall showings.

It isn’t over for the Washington Capitals yet, but it sure feels like it is.

Predators buried after call on Weber in OT

A tough break for the Nashville Predators in OT when Shea Weber sat for 2 and the Canucks scored on the ensuing power play. Part questionable call, part great work by Ryan Kesler to sell it, all disappointment for the Predators. Clip of the play courtesy of @wyshynski:

No surprises: Boucher expects to be in goal for Philly

Despite a dislocated finger, Brian Boucher expects to be in net for the Flyers tonight.

Glendale coughs up $25 million for Coyotes

The city of Glendale has paid the $25 million it owed the NHL for 2010-11 operating costs in the name of the Phoenix Coyotes.

Report: Gaglardi offer for Stars in excess of $250 million

According to Mike Heika of the Dallas Morning News, Canadian business man Tom Gaglardi could pay more than $250 million to take over the Dallas Stars and a portion of American Airlines Center.

Simon Moser didn’t swallow his tongue, no one swallows their tongue

Someone finally set the record straight on this: Dion Phaneuf leveled Simon Moser of Switzerland in World Championship action yesterday and the latter would eventually pass out on the bench in a scary moment. Several early reports had Moser ‘swallowing his tongue’ on the bench, but as Jo Innes of Puck That Hurts points out – nobody swallows their tongue:

Your tongue is huge. When you’re unconscious, you’re not in control of voluntary muscles like the ones in your tongue and lower jaw. So if you’re upright, on your back – or in any position that lets gravity take over – your tongue is going to slide back and occlude your airway. You don’t swallow it.

So yeah, this isn’t 1986 and we don’t put a spoon in someone’s mouth (not that this was the case with Moser) to stop a seizure. The Moser incident is a lesson in how not to handle an unconscious person.

Jordan Eberle snubbed by The Childlike Empress

Stick tap Hockey Jackass