Last week we speculated that this could be the “Worst. Second Round. Ever.” Of course, that was before the Nashville Predators and Detroit Red Wings refused to go quietly in the night. What a difference a weekend makes!
Of course, while the Western Conference has finally decided to provide us with some drama, the Eastern Conference had the weekend off. Since the second round won’t start for at least a few days now, Tampa Bay and Boston have been sitting around for a while. A few days rest in the Stanley Cup playoffs is a huge bonus and the Bruins and Lightning have decided to take advantage of the May weather and enjoy their time off.
But what have they been doing? Once again, Houses of the Hockey has managed to get the scoop. We have exclusive access to the players’ actions over these last few days and this is how they’ve been spending their “spring vacations.”
Mark Recchi has taken the opportunity to book some time in the hyperbaric chamber that allows him to fight off retirement for another few weeks. He’s also signed up for some serious time at an oxygen bar as he tries desperately to avoid aging. Interestingly enough, Recchi commented that he was surprised that Dwayne Roloson wasn’t also locked inside an anti-aging tube since he’d heard some rumours. We can confirm however that Roloson has decided to continue the Satanic sacrifices and meals of goat placenta that have kept him going throughout the playoffs instead.
Martin St. Louis visited a dentist during his time off and had his 32nd root canal surgery of the playoffs yesterday.
Steven Stamkos tried to hang out on some Florida beaches during his vacation, but he was chased off the beach and back into the gym by Gary Roberts. Roberts was furious when he saw Stamkos drinking a Shirley Temple on the beach, as that is clearly against the all protein shake diet he forced Stamkos on years ago.
No one’s really noticed Sean Bergenheim during the break, but we’ve heard that he’s scored at least three big goals during this time.
Guy Boucher has finalized his plans for taking over the Eastern Seaboard. The death ray he bought on Craigslist should be in any day now and there’s nothing James Bond can do to stop him now.
Several members of the Boston Bruins franchise have spent time at Tomas Kaberle’s home recently. They’re continuing their efforts to explain to Kaberle why he has to keep dressing for and playing in hockey games even though it’s May. Claude Julien has stopped Kaberle from driving to the cottage three times already and he’s getting sick of it.
It sounds like the players are making the most of whatever time off they have!