Lisa: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Bart: Not if you called ‘em stench blossoms.
Homer: Or crapweeds.
Marge: I’d sure hate to get a dozen crapweeds for Valentine’s Day. I’d rather have candy.
Homer: Not if they were called scumdrops.
– The Simpsons
Clearly a name is important, especially when you’re talking about a professional sports franchise. Names convey a sense of power, strength and history. That’s why the suggestion that a new NHL hockey team in Winnipeg could be named the Manitoba Moose has drawn such attention.
We’re not here to debate the strengths and weaknesses of the Moose name or whether or not the Jets should return instead. No, we’ve chosen to come up with a few suggestions of our own for what a potential Winnipeg team should be called.
The Winnipeg Parks
Ilya Bryzgalov famously stated that he wouldn’t want to play in Winnipeg because “it’s cold. There’s no excitement except the hockey. No park, no entertaining for the families, for the kids. It’s going to be tough life for your family.”
Naming a team after this snub would be a great way to show the world that the people of Winnipeg have a sense of humour… and parks.
The Winnipeg Exchange Rate
One of the reasons the Jets left Winnipeg is that the economic situation in the mid-90s was much different than it is today. Since the exchange rate between Canada and the United States is now more favourable, it makes sense to honour that fact.
The Manitoba Space Shuttles
What’s better than a Winnipeg Jet? A Manitoba Space Shuttle of course.
The Winnipeg Jettison
Think of it this way. The announcer at the MTS Centre could welcome the team onto this ice with “And now… your Winnipeg Jettttttttttttt…….. ison!” Plus, the Dictionary.com definition of “Jettison” is “to throw off (something) as an obstacle or burden; discard.” If that doesn’t describe the Atlanta Thrashers, we don’t know what does.
The Winnipeg Really Cold
This one is self-explanatory.
The Manitoba Nordiques
Why not take it before the people of Quebec City can get it back? Or, if you feel like stealing names, why not call the team the Manitoba North Stars? It works.
The Winnipeg Winning
What, no one cares about Charlie Sheen any more? Oh well. Carry on then.
The Winnipeg NHL Team
Does it honestly matter what the name of the team is? Also, choosing this name would allow you to follow in the footsteps of the Baltimore CFL Football Team who went on to win the Grey Cup (as the Baltimore Stallions) and the people of Winnipeg certainly love the CFL, right?
The Manitoba Stop Giving Atlanta Hockey Teams
Seriously. Just stop doing it.
The Manitoba Thrash-Otes
The Thrashers may move to Winnipeg… but it still might be the Coyotes. In order to make it easy for either team to relocate to Manitoba, just name the potential team the “Thrash-Otes.” Then, whatever team comes to play in the MTS Centre will fit right in.
The Winnipeg Doesn’t This Make Much More Sense Than Having A Team Play In The Southern US?
It really does.
The Manitoba True North
Why not honour True North Sports & Entertainment with the name of the team? This one actually sounds not bad.
The Winnipeg Suck It Bettman
We have to believe that Gary Bettman doesn’t want a team in Winnipeg, but he might get one. If that doesn’t hurt his ego enough, naming the team after him certainly would.