So… apparently Saturday May 21st is Judgment Day. Maybe that’s why Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in the news so often recently.
In many ways, it’s kind of too bad that the world has to end. It really seemed like we were getting the hang of things. Plus, we’re going to miss out on a whole bunch of exciting stuff if it all ends on Saturday.
It’s going to be pretty bad for Canadian hockey fans. If the Rapture comes this weekend, we’ll never find out if Vancouver has what it takes to win the Stanley Cup. Plus, Judgement Day will strike us before Winnipeg is officially given an NHL team, which just seems cruel to the people in Manitoba. Also, the city of Edmonton will never get its new arena.
We’ll never see Sidney Crosby play another hockey game.
Since hundreds of earthquakes are going to literally consume the earth and kill nearly everyone on it, we’re never going conclusively find out – with a shadow of a doubt – who won the Phil Kessel trade. Thousands of people will die without being validated that they were right.
Martin Brodeur will forever be stuck at 99 playoff wins. To be fair, there’s a good chance that was going to happen anyway.
The end of society and human life as we know it will mean that the 2011 NHL Awards will never take place. We’re not sure about you, but it’s going to be pretty tough to die without knowing who won the 2011 Lady Byng.
Only Henrik Sedin is truly happy about this. The end of the world will eliminate the chance that his brother Daniel will win the Hart Trophy this year, so family bragging rights stay with Henrik for eternity.
As society collapses and humankind is wiped from existence, the Tampa Bay Lightning will look even stranger for starting to use their new logo so early, since those jerseys will never actually be worn.
No one will be able to hear Ilya Bryzgalov complain that the post-apocalyptic world doesn’t have enough parks over the sound of millions of tortured souls screaming in agony.
We’ll never know what the Winter Classic will be like in NHL 12 and we won’t get to see if the actual Winter Classic was really going to take place in Philadelphia. Note: There’s a good chance that filling a stadium with Flyers and Rangers fans would have led to the Apocalypse anyway, so maybe we’re just saving some time by doing it early.
The Coyotes will never move from Phoenix.
Since everything in our society is about to be wiped out by incredibly intense natural disasters, no one will ever know who Brad Richards was going to sign with this off season.
Of course, we should note that not everyone will be killed if the Rapture does come. Some will be saved, but the earth will be rendered a dark, scary, desolate place where human life will be unsustainable. It will be a lot like spending eternity at a Florida Panthers game.