Good job Internet, we found them!

Since this is your first time seeing the above image, I’ll give you a moment to bask in the poetic beauty of making love during war, and the other sappy emotions it inspires that I’m incapable of feeling. Done? Moving on then…

Snapped by Getty Images photographer Rich Lam at the height of the idiocy Wednesday night in Vancouver following the Canucks’ 4-0 loss to Boston, this image has now been seen by literally every person on Earth. Babies born Thursday morning opened their eyes for the first time and saw it immediately.

But the burning question that was tearing down the Interwebs needed an answer. Just who is this mystery couple? And how could burning cars and riot shields possibly be an aphrodisiac?

Well now we know the rest of the story.

Romeo’s name is Scott Jones, a 29-year-old aspiring comedian from Perth, Australia who has been in Canada since last fall. He’s been working as a bartender in Vancouver, and somewhere along the line he met his Juliet, Alex Thomas.

Jones’ parents have probably done at least 86 interviews over the last 24 hours. His father Brett spoke with CBC in a video I’d much rather embed here than just link to, but our Canadian tax dollars evidently don’t pay for that kind of technology. Brett unfortunately confirmed a common rumour circulating yesterday and halted our wild imaginations, saying that the couple wasn’t trying to light their own fire amidst the flames burning brightly around them.

After attending the game they were caught in the riot and stuck in an awkward position in between the rioters and the police. When the police charged forward Thomas was struck by one of their shields. She sustained only minor injuries (scrapes and bruises), but was clearly upset when the incident happened, prompting Jones to give a comforting kiss. Awwwww.

Jones’ mother Megan spoke to the Globe and Mail, and said that her son’s international moment of romance wasn’t surprising at all.

“I just thought, yep, that would be Scott because he’s a bit of a dreamer and he wouldn’t have even known there was a riot going on around him, quite possibly.”

She expressed similar feelings to The Atlantic Wire, saying “that’s our boy.”

“He has always lived in his own world, he’s special like that. He doesn’t always connect with what going on around him.

“I knew it was him because he doesn’t have a lot of clothes with him and he always puts on the same thing.

“I’d have to have my house flooded to get on the news, but he just has to kiss a beautiful girl.”

As Puck Daddy notes, the couple was predictably revealed through social media, with Brett proudly identifying his son on his Facebook account.

We’re pretty sure this is the kind of moment a stand-up comedian trying to build his career dreams of, and I’ll pay whatever Jones wants to attend his next show. Here’s a clip from his current routine, half of which is shot from someone who was cut off by the bar shortly after and forgot that video generally only works when done horizontally.