We know that hockey isn’t the most popular sport of all time. In fact, there are many regions where hockey barely even registers on the sports radar. So, sometimes unique and creative promotional tactics are required. However, often these awful tactics fail miserably and become more of a source of ridicule and humour than anything else.

That’s where we come in.

Take our pal Boomer up there (image from Full Mental Jackets.) At first thought it makes sense that the Columbus Blue Jackets would use a cannon mascot to promote their new third jerseys which feature a cannon logo. The Blue Jackets have used Civil War imagery for a long time and this seems like a natural extension of that theme. Of course, the problem is that Boomer doesn’t exactly look like a cannon. He looks more like a bong or a penis. We’re not sure which one is worse, but they’re both pretty bad ideas for a team mascot.

So Boomer didn’t go over so well. In response to the criticism, the Blue Jackets decided to shrink Boomer’s role and eventually retire him. Of course, the only thing worse than having a phallic mascot is deciding to shrink the phallic mascot. The headlines write themselves.

Of course, Boomer isn’t the worst way to promote a hockey team ever. There are many worse ways.

For the record, we’re just sticking to the NHL right now. If we went into the minor leagues we’d find about a million more terrible ways to promote hockey.

Yes, we’ve mentioned this one before, but the ridiculousness of it is hard to ignore. Again, the initial idea (use a character similar to those in popular movie 300 to hype up Senators fans) sounds okay, but the follow through was just awful. From the fact that the actor’s microphone didn’t really work to the visible writing inside the shield (perhaps the script?) this is just painful and hilarious to watch.

Florida Panthers games aren’t exactly the most popular ticket in the league, so when the Cats wanted to fill the seats last season, they started marketing to fans of the opposition. They went all out in trying to lure fans from other cities to their games. This may have helped the team’s bottom line, but it probably didn’t do much for the atmosphere at the BankAtlantic Center.

Maybe the Panthers realized that, because they have an all new marketing idea this year:

The Panthers have created a “Red Zone” seating section for Panthers fans only. Apparently the team that was recently so welcoming of opposition fans is now saying “Visiting Fans Not Welcome.” At least not in certain sections.

Sorry, Toronto Maple Leafs. A video where someone walks across the country picking up snow and water doesn’t make you “Canada’s Team,” even if you then poured that water on the ice at the Air Canada Centre.

Strangely enough, that wasn’t even the only “water being transported and poured on the ice” event that took place in the NHL that day.

Then Mario Lemieux went and, of course, poured that water on the ice. Pouring water on the ice is all the rage in the NHL these days. The Penguins then sold whatever was left over, because who doesn’t want a $30 bottle of water?

Maybe kids like it? We’re not sure. But the NHL Guardian Project seems pretty awful to our jaded, adult eyes. Apparently this thing didn’t stop after the All-Star Game. It’s been going on ever since and maybe some people are even following it. Who? Again, maybe kids.

Apparently the Guardian Project now has a partnership with NBCUniversal that could see the brand grow. Will this actually help promote the NHL or just embarrass fans? Why is the Leafs Guardian a tree?