Last night the world got some great news. No I’m not talking about Blackberry users finally able to access their precious BBM, I’m talking about Brett Hull finally creating a twitter account (unconfirmed rumour that I just made up: Adam Oates assisted him in creating the account) .
The account is appropriately named @2ndBestHull.
I immediately clicked ‘follow’ and can’t wait for Hull to start doing what he has done through out his entire career: entertain me.
That’s when my mind started racing.
Who else do I want to see get a twitter account? (I thought of a few)
What if I could alter the space time continuum? (I thought of a couple more)
What if they didn’t even have to be human? (This is going to be fun)
Let’s start with the ones that could actually happen (Note: To the best of my knowledge, these guys do not have a twitter account. When I searched there where many accounts that looked fake)
Person: Patrick Roy
Suggested Twitter Handle: @JRLover
Reason: Even in broken English, Patrick still has some of the best quotes of all time
How he would tweet about: Concussions. “I never really had concussion. Was protected by my 2 Stanley Cup rings plugging my ear”
Person: John Tortorella
Suggested Twitter Handle: @GetLostBrooksie
Reason: Who is the guy you have the most fun watching get really angry. I rest my case.
How he would tweet about: World’s Problems. “terrorism, global warming, budget crisis…ALL Brooksie’s fault”
Person: Paul Bissonnette
Suggested Twitter Handle: @BizNasty2point0
Reason: I know, this already exists with over 146 thousand followers. Here is what I want: immunity from the NHL’s social media policy. Imagine the gold we would get if he could tweet in the 55 minutes per game he sits on the bench?
How he would tweet about: Sitting on bench. “Just hit on the hot blond in the first row during our PP. We didn’t score, but I will in a couple hours”
Person: Jim Schoenfeld
Suggested Twitter Handle: @HaveAnotherDoughnut
Reason: Just watch this NSFW video
How he would tweet about: Dustin Byfuglien got fat rumours: “I guess Dustin ate two many doughnuts, the fat pig”
Ok…these would need the help from Dr. Emmit Brown
Person: Phil Esposito (circa 1972)
Suggested Twitter Handle: @CommieHater
Reason: Espo was the original Brett Hull. Scored goals and spoke his mind
How he would tweet about: Henderson’s goal. “I whiffed on my shot, and Henderson is the hero. Great!”
Person: Rocket Richard (circa 1955)
Suggested Twitter Handle: @50in50
Reason: (see Patrick Roy)
How he would tweet about: The Richard Riots. “please stop it, but, thank you for support, Campbell is an idiot”
This one could never happen, but it’s fun anyway…
Person: Sidney Crosby’s brain
Suggested Twitter Handle: @SteckelHater87
Reason: We have talked more about Sid’s brain then any player over the last 9 months
How he would tweet about: Sid’s return date. “I control EVERYTHING in his body, I’m broken, and you want to know when I can play hockey you insensitive bastards”
Have some more? Comment below or hit me up on twitter @robpizzo
What else is going on…
So Phili fans were…well…Phili fans last night (Puck Daddy)
Trying to handicap what teams will win is tough, trying to figure out who will be the last team with 0 points, I’ll leave that to the guys at Pro hockey talk
The hot topic over the last few days has been realignment. The Wizard of Os gives their thoughts on the Red Wings possibly heading to the Southeast
Yup, we are getting to that point in Brodeur’s career where the word “retirement” keeps popping up (or were we there last year?) . The Good Point breaks down the the question we will ask ourselves all year
Kyle Turris wants out of Phoenix, but what five teams are interested? Check out The Fourth Period
The early goalie controversy in Washington takes another turn as Neuvirth is Day-to-Day (Washington Post)
This is proof that you can buy ANYTHING on the internet (Days of Y’Orr)
And in some Junior Hockey news, the 2013 Memorial Cup is awarded to…(Calgary Herald)