Last night the world got some great news. No I’m not talking about Blackberry users finally able to access their precious BBM,  I’m talking about Brett Hull finally creating a twitter account (unconfirmed rumour that I just made up: Adam Oates assisted him in creating the account) .

The account is appropriately named @2ndBestHull.

I immediately clicked ‘follow’ and can’t wait for Hull to start doing what he has done through out his entire career: entertain me.

That’s when my mind started racing.

Who else do I want to see get a twitter account? (I thought of a few)

What if I could alter the space time continuum? (I thought of a couple more)

What if they didn’t even have to be human? (This is going to be fun)

Let’s start with the ones that could actually happen (Note: To the best of my knowledge, these guys do not have a twitter account. When I searched there where many accounts that looked fake)

Person: Patrick Roy

Suggested Twitter Handle: @JRLover

Reason: Even in broken English, Patrick still has some of the best quotes of all time

How he would tweet about: Concussions. “I never really had concussion. Was protected by my 2 Stanley Cup rings plugging my ear”

 

Person: John Tortorella

Suggested Twitter Handle: @GetLostBrooksie

Reason: Who is the guy you have the most fun watching get really angry. I rest my case.

How he would tweet about: World’s Problems. “terrorism, global warming, budget crisis…ALL Brooksie’s fault”

 

Person: Paul Bissonnette

Suggested Twitter Handle: @BizNasty2point0

Reason: I know, this already exists with over 146 thousand followers. Here is what I want:  immunity from the NHL’s social media policy. Imagine the gold we would get if he could tweet in the 55 minutes per game he sits on  the bench?

How he would tweet about: Sitting on bench. “Just hit on the hot blond in the first row during our PP. We didn’t score, but I will in a couple hours”

 

Person: Jim Schoenfeld

Suggested Twitter Handle: @HaveAnotherDoughnut

Reason: Just watch this NSFW video

How he would tweet about: Dustin Byfuglien got fat rumours: “I guess Dustin ate two many doughnuts, the fat pig”

 

Ok…these would need the help from Dr. Emmit Brown

Person: Phil Esposito (circa 1972)

Suggested Twitter Handle: @CommieHater

Reason: Espo was the original Brett Hull. Scored goals and spoke his mind

How he would tweet about: Henderson’s goal. “I whiffed on my shot, and Henderson is the hero. Great!”

 

Person: Rocket Richard (circa 1955)

Suggested Twitter Handle: @50in50

Reason: (see Patrick Roy)

How he would tweet about: The Richard Riots. “please stop it, but, thank you for support, Campbell is an idiot”

 

This one could never happen, but it’s fun anyway…

Person: Sidney Crosby’s brain

Suggested Twitter Handle: @SteckelHater87

Reason: We have talked more about Sid’s brain then any  player over the last 9 months

How he would tweet about: Sid’s return date. “I control EVERYTHING in his body, I’m broken, and you want to know when I can play hockey you insensitive bastards”

Have some more? Comment below or hit me up on twitter @robpizzo

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What else is going on…

So Phili fans were…well…Phili fans last night (Puck Daddy)

Trying to handicap what teams will win is tough, trying to figure out who will be the last team with 0 points, I’ll leave that to the guys at Pro hockey talk

The hot topic over the last few days has been realignment. The Wizard of Os gives their thoughts on the Red Wings possibly heading to the Southeast

Yup, we are getting to that point in Brodeur’s career where the word “retirement” keeps popping up (or were we there last year?) . The Good Point breaks down the the question we will ask ourselves all year

As I wrote about yesterday , I agreed with Jeremy Roenick’s rant regarding Sidney Crosby. Phil Bourque on the other hand, does not. (The Pens Blog)

Kyle Turris wants out of Phoenix, but what five teams are interested? Check out The Fourth Period

The early goalie controversy in Washington takes another turn as Neuvirth is Day-to-Day (Washington Post)

This is proof that you can buy ANYTHING on the internet (Days of Y’Orr)

And in some Junior Hockey news, the 2013 Memorial Cup is awarded to…(Calgary Herald)