The addition of twitter to our daily hockey viewing has, in general, been an absolute delight. Heck, it’s made every event better – when a show like the Oscars ends up being horrible, it’s often saved by the comedy coming from your twitter feed.

One of the only downfalls of that is, not everyone is cut out for writing jokes, including myself. Buuut, we try anyway.

Sometimes people knock it out of the park, and others they whiff so badly that they do the screw-themselves-into-the-ground follow-through. Either way, it’s fun to watch people swing their hardest.

The problem is, when the issue of the day involves certain topics, it’s TOO easy. It’s batting practice, with big meatballs coming right down the middle of the plate, so people don’t try as hard. I’m sure you’ve found yourself reading a slew of tweets and going “ehh, too easy, just too easy.”

So, I give you the Top 5 “too easy” players to abuse (which doesn’t in any way imply you should stop), in the hopes that when these guys come down the pike, we can all remember to still take a good, hard cut, and hopefully hit a few more long homeruns. Or at least a few less lazy flyballs.

We can all learn from our friend Down Goes Brown.


Honorable mention:

Just missing the cut were Montreal Canadiens “short” jokes, and Nikolai Khabbyboozin’ ones.

These are easy (and often funny), but still nowhere near as easy as….

#5 Patrick Kane + cabbies

Any time Patrick Kane is in the news you can best bet a few cabbie jokes will find their way into your feed. At least it earned him the stellar nickname “20 cent,” referring to the amount of change that started the incident with the driver. And I mean, c’mon, we got that picture out of the deal.

Apparently the man isn’t afraid to party.

“Hm, why do I hear “Jaws” music…

4. Matt Cooke + head shots, all things evil

Like Kane, the default jokes on Cooke are well deserved. While most guys end up being known for one incident, Cooke became an easy topic thanks to his solid body of work (though usually he skips the body” and goes to work on the head. HA!), which means we actually get to enjoy doling out some verbal cheap shots on him.

 But, he’s changed, folks. This year he’s a goal scorer, or whatever.

3. Alex Burrows + biting

When Alex Burrows undeniably bit Patrick Bergeron (well, undeniable unless you contemplate suspending him for it) in the Stanley Cup finals last year, he took himself from notorious pest to having fingers mentioned in every tweet that involves him in any way, shape or form. Hell, even the Bruins took the easy jokes on the ice. Just look at the picture at the top of this post.

2. Rick DiPietro + fragility

Rick was the obvious inspiration for this morning’s post. I mean, good god, you couldn’t glance at your feed without seeing some variation of the “guy can’t catch a break….just fractures” meme. The worst part was…it was really funny. This is one of those strange crossover ones, where the easy jokes are still (barely) holding on to funny.

But, you gotta feel a little bad for Rick at this point. He’s hurt, and some folks brought their A game on him this morning.

And of course….

1. Kyle Wellwood + the opposite of skinny

From a chat thread, by Kings_of_Anarchy

This one’s the best/easiest for the simple fact that he’s not fat, thereby eliminating any need to feel bad about the jokes, while still wholly enjoying getting to carve the guy up. Again, for essentially nothing. It’s become a joke for jokes sake, turning around on itself and creating some sort of comedy wormhole.

Unfortunately, it’s also commonly found in the laziest of lazy jokes, tacked on to the end of damn-near every mention of a doughnut out there. Still – I wouldn’t lose it for the world.


I’m sure I’m missing a few, am I not? Are there any other NHLers that belong on our “too easy, just too easy” list?