Happy Halloween everybody!
It’s one of my favorite days of the year because all rules pretty much go out the window (more on that later in the links) . You are talking to a guy who one dressed up as AC Slater for Halloween and finsinhed 2nd in the costume contest in a bar (don’t worry, the next year I was Super Mario and took first place at the same bar) .
If you are a hockey AND Halloween fan like me, I wanted to help you out. So here is a step by step guide to some NHL related costumes..No charge!
Roberto Luongo
Materials Needed: Tire Pump, Hair Gel (lots of it, like a big tub) , Comb, Canucks Jersey, Tim Thomas Jersey
Step one: Take a handful of the gel and smear it into the left side of your head.
Step two: Take another handful and repeat the previous step for the right side.
Step 3: Take the comb and slick your hair back, stopping when you reach the back of your head (DO NOT comb the last 2 inches, it MUST remain curly).
Step 4: Grow in a good two days of scruff (if you don’t have time, grab a handful of dirt with your sticky gel hands and rub it on your face).
Step 5: Put on Canucks jersey
Step 6: Attach end of tire pump to Tim Thomas jersey
You must perfect: a) Every 10 minutes, pump up Thomas Jersey.
b) At the worst possible time, go to the washroom and sit on the toilet
Matt Cooke
Materials Needed: Mannequin Head (the more it resembles Marc Savard the better) , hockey helmet, crazy glue, elbow pad, Cooke jersey.
Step one: Put on jersey, then place the helmet on the mannequin head
Step two: BEFORE putting on the elbow pad, attach the mannequin head to it using the crazy glue (IMPORTANT: Make sure to aim the face AWAY from the pad, it is after all an blindside check) . Put on elbow pad.
Step three: Blackout front tooth
You must perfect: The “What did I do?” face
Alexander Ovechkin
Materials needed: Geico caveman mask, Caps jersey
Step one: Put on Jersey
Step two: Put on mask. You are done.
You must perfect: Saying “I swear Gaa”
Sean Avery
Materials needed: Connecticut Whale Jersey, Martin Brodeur jersey, thick glasses, a friend
Step one: Put on thick glasses and Whale Jersey
Step two: Get your friend to put on Brodeur Jersey
You must perfect: standing in front of your friend ALL night. When he/she orders a drink, stand in front of them waving your hands in their face.
Brain Burke
Materials needed: Suit, grey hair dye, blush
Step one: Apply blush all over face to make it extremely red
Step two: Dye hair grey (In a pinch you could find a grey wig)
Step three: Put on suit. VERY IMPORTANT: Do not, under ANY circumstances, do up… a) The top button of your shirt b) Your tie. A very loose knot is essential
You must perfect: Telling everyone at the party that you are smarter than they are.
Have any more? comment or tweet me @robpizzo
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What else is going on…
Raffi Torres has 99 problems…but he shouldn’t have one (Puck Daddy)
The Ottawa Senators have won 6 in a row. I feel like this should have a red squiggly line underneath it telling me its wrong. (Pro Hockey talk)
Brodeur is saying that his shoulder will never be 100 percent. I guess he is a glass half empty kind of guy (Fire and Ice)
With a bunch of 18 year olds staying in the NHL this year, Dirty Dangle talks about what the rest of us were doing at age 18
In “we already knew that because it leaked early” news, Mats Sundin will have his number raised in Toronto (Pension Plan Puppets)
Ken Hitchcock to the rescue in Columbus? (Columbus Dispatch)
Sean Avery to be placed on re-entry wavers today (SB Nation)
As if Shane Doan didn’t have it tough enough playing in Phoenix, check him out on Mantracker? Click here (Nhl.com)
And in case you missed it this weekend, the Islanders got royally screwed. Why does the NHL not have instant reply?
(lets head to Toronto)
And in case you missed it this weekend, the Islanders got royally screwed. Why does the NHL not have instant replay?
(See how hard was that?, check it out and get it right! )
Hey Pizzo,
Over the weekend I dressed up as the Reiminister of Defence. Unfortunately I couldn’t stop a flying high heel to my eye and spent the rest of the night in the emergency room. Gotta love drunk girls dancing….
Do we really have to turn the Torres costume into a racial issue? Isn’t there enough real racism in the world without having to fabricate something that isn’t there?
Brendan Shanahan (Ideal for bouncers)
Materials: Suit, swivel chair a la Bond villains, high horse, twitter page
Step 1: Kick out everyone in the bar at least once for anything including but not limited to, hitting on someone who has their back turned, poor dancing with elbows up, Charlie Sheen costume.
Step 2: Give them a business card with your twitter page directing them to your explanation video (no need if you’re Matt Cooke because it’s your homepage already).
You Must Perfect: Being able to convey the “cool vice principal” feel when you invite guys to your office to have a “rap session”