Kings forward Dustin Penner has been criticized for being…well…pleasantly plump
So when the story came out that he missed a game becasue of a back injury he suffered eating pancakes, the media jumped all over it. Now Penner has responded, but not in the way you may think. He wrote an open letter for Mayors Manor which proved the guy has a sense of humour:
Right off the bat, I’d like to clarify a few things.
For example, they were vegetarian pancakes. The injury happened as I was sitting down to eat, not mid-bite. And yes, I did finish them.
Given all the variables, this is without a doubt the funniest injury I have ever seen. I mean fat guy hurts himself eating pancakes? You can’t write that stuff! Got me thinking, would there be any other hockey injury that would make me laugh as much as pancake gate? A man can dream can’t he? (relax, they wouldn’t miss any time with these “minor” injuries)
Player: Daniel Sedin
Injury: Eye Injury
Suffered While: Having a pillow fight with Henrik on a road trip
Close your eyes and picture it, how can you not laugh? The funniest part of this injury…it could actually happen. Yes I firmly believe that they have pillow fights on the road while Alain Vigneault is in the adjoining room banging on the wall for them to shut up and go to bed
Player: Max Pacioretty
Injury: Bruised Cheekbone
Suffered When: Running into a door frame
The door frame is the stanchion of your home. Imagine the look on Zdeno Chara’s face when you told him?
Player: Patrick Kane
Suffered When: Rear ended by a cab driver
Bonus funny points if the cab driver takes 20 cents and throws it in Kane’s face.
Player: Ilya Bryzgalov
Injury: Lacerations to the legs and arms
Suffered When: His Husky turned on him
On HBO’s 24/7, Bryz compared his husky to a beautiful woman. Who among us has not had a woman you thought was kind and gentle turn on us for no reason. Don’t worry, the cut would not be Humangus big.
Player: Matt Cooke
Injury: Strained wrist
Suffered When: Serving food to the homeless
He basically has become a saint this season (just 14 PIMS!) , so this wouldn’t surprise me at all. I still would tell the homeless people to keep their heads up when they were anywhere near Cooke.
Player: Alexander Ovechkin
Injury: Shoulder Injury
Suffered When: Lifting Stanley Cup
I Know, I know. Now I’m just getting way too unrealistic
Got any more? Comment or tweet me @robpizzo
Lets head to the links
Seriously, the pancake story is REALLY funny…check out The Royal Half
2013 Winter Classic + Big House= Yes please (Pro Hockey Talk)
Remember when goalies used to stack the pads? Dirty Dangle does
Alexander Ovechkin told the Washington Post what he thinks of his season thus far
Now that Brian Burke has buried the hatchet with Kevin Lowe, his next target is this Jets fan (Twitter)
The guys at The Pens Blog want you to LEAVE SIDNEY ALONE!!!!!
SB Nation gives out their mid-season awards (surprise Hart Trophy winner alert)
Ok, I gave Matt Cooke credit in my post for cleaning up his game…but this may be pushing it a little too far. Actually not a little, a LOT (PensBurgh)
Olivia Munn and Brad Richards have split up. In related news: Olivia Munn is smoking hot (US Weekly)
and finally…at least O.V is going down swinging