Gleason doing his best Reddit "Not bad" face.

I’m in a good mood today, so please excuse the negative topic, but this is always fun to discuss: when you sit down to watch hockey at night, there are certain teams you just don’t care to see, correct? You can’t help who those teams are, you just…don’t find them fun to watch.

That’s just a sports reality. We all have our preferences, whether those are rooted in geography, nationality or just because your Dad forced you to cheer for the same teams he did as a kid.

The following list is mine and mine alone, but I’m willing to bet there’s some overlap with some of you out there. Without further ado, the five teams that make me want to flip channels.


 #5 The Nashville Predators

This one is largely rooted in geography, of course. If I were from the area, I’d be ecstactic to have a team, not to mention a damn good one. It’s rare to have a quality team this high on a list like this, but man….

I could do without watching a team with equally distributed talent playing a solid system and just repeatedly gettin’ er done on good coaching and playing the right way. I mean, there’s something noble in that, but entertainment value? Yeah, no.

Shea Weber, Ryan Suter and Pekka Rinne are all stars in this league, but they’re also all defensive players, which, again, is respectable and great and all that, but rarely pulls you out of your seat. I’m just sayin’, I don’t set my DVR for Preds games. They’re robots, and I’m against the robot uprising.

(Note: I do watch all these teams play from time to time just to have some idea what I’m talking about. Those nights are not my favourites.)


 #4 The Minnesota Wild

Here’s the thing: I love Minnesota, the Twin Cities in particular. I love the Xcel Energy Center, I love the fans, blah blah blah. I truly do.

But those green and red jerseys man… I just hate them so much it’s incredible.

To top that off, their years and years of unparalleled mediocrity are draining. At least watching the Isles for years I’ve got to see about 15 breakaways (against) per game because they’ve been truly terrible. The Wild are always just….there. They’ve been beige on skates. The addition of Heatley was moderately interesting from a star power perspective, but the many years of like…Andrew Brunette has just soured me on them. Sorry Wild fans.


 #3 The Calgary Flames

I’ve never liked the Flames, for reasons I’m not exactly sure. But this year in particular I find them the appeal of Flames games to be on par with eating a bowl of Glassios.

Their biggest star, Jarome Iginla, has a good shot. But I’m not hanging around waiting for one or two of those, I’ll catch it on the highlights. Next is….Jokinen? Jay Bouwmeester? Lee Stempniak? There’s just nothing to be excited about with that roster (though they are “going for it” according to their GM).

I guess they do have Cammalleri now, so maybe I’ll give them another chance, but like they Wild, it’s been a good five years of “meh” hockey for the Flames.


 #2 The Columbus Blue Jackets

I have nothing against the Blue Jackets. Sadly, I have nothing against the Blue Jackets because they haven’t really mattered much. That hurts, fans, I know, but I think you’d acknowledge that, yes?

They stay out of first by virtue of me being a big fan of Rick Nash, and I like that they grabbed Carter and Wisniewski this year.

But after that, there’s just no “wow” factor. Thery’re just players, players with unfamiliar numbers (after 61), no 87 or 68 or 91. NHL players maybe, but the type that make you go “he’s still in the NHL, hey? I can’t remember the last time they gave a non-Columbus fan a reason to go “oooo, that CBJ game is on tonight.” I can’t think of plenty of years they’ve given a non-Columbus fan a reason not to watch.


 #1 The Carolina Hurricanes

My dislike for the Hurricanes just sort of grew out of nowhere, without there really being any “Big Bang” moments. They just get under my skin.

I dislike their jerseys. Having Eric Staal as your star player means that your star player is Eric Staal (good player with low-watt-lightbulb level electricity), which means that the other guys on your team (save for Jeff Skinner) are less interesting to watch than Eric Staal.

Save for their Stanley  Cup year (which was out of left field), it feels like they’re constantly a non-contending non-playoff team. They’re the wrestler whose job it is to make the star look good (after a quick Google search, that makes them “Jabronis,” apparently). I associate the team with names like Tim Brent, Patrick Dwyer, Jay Harrison and a others that make you go… Y’know, I think I’ll go watch an Oilers game or something.


 Sorry about that guys, I hope you don’t take it too personally. Just for me – an Islanders fan living in Phoenix from Canada…I’ve got my biases.

Did I miss anyone? Who’s on your “no thanks” list?