For those of you who actually do things outside of sitting on your couch all weekend, and for those of you with jobs, we’ve started running this Monday feature “One-Touch Passes” to get you caught up all the interesting stuff going on in hockey right now.

Let’s take a look at what’s going on in the NHL today:

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Like our last edition of One-Touch Passes, we lead with a picture from Brandon Prust’s Twitter feed. It appears as though they don’t want Derek Stepan to think he’s too high and mighty yet in the wake of his first overtime winner as a Ranger.

Sooo, they hogtied him. Seriously.

I swear, being on a hockey team is like living out Lord of the Flies.

The picture was accompanied by the words “Have a good flight @DerekStepan21 #hogtied by @BDubi17

Stick-tap to Pro Hockey Talk on that.

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Rick Nash scored against the Rangers with a little over 90 seconds left in Columbus’ game against them to push the game to overtime.

As you’ve likely heard, the Rangers are one of the teams Nash is rumoured to be traded to before the upcoming deadline. Certainly, Rangers fans had heard.

When they heard that it was Nash who scored the game-tying goal, a chant broke out: “WE don’t WANT you! WE don’t WANT you!”

Awesome. I give that one first place over “Thank you, Kessel” for it’s very improvisational nature.

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 If you missed it in an earlier Backhand Shelf post, NHL players took a poll that asked the question “Do you think fighting should be banned from hockey?”

They do not. 98% No to 2% yes.

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There was a terrible, tragic story out of Illinois yesterday – a man playing pond hockey with his son fell through a hole in the ice, and died in hospital hours later.

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You may remember back during the All-Star Game, when a mic’d up Scott Hartnell tossed a pretty casual, fully hilarious “Suck it, Phaneuf” at the Maple Leafs captain.

Well, there’s a story on Reddit Hockey today where a guy asked Scott Hartnell for an autograph, and if he could “customize” it a bit, y’know, make it personal. Well, it looks like Hartnell is making that flippant comment his brand:

Pretty hilarious, hashtag and all. Apparently he asked the kid how to spell Phaneuf too. (Reddit Hockey)

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This kinda sorta almost happens here and there – goaltenders assume a penalty is on the opposing team, take a few hesitant strides to the bench, then realize that either A) the penalty is on their team or B), no penalty was called at all, and they head back into the net.

This time…this time it was simply too late.

Stick-tap to Puck Daddy on that one.

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 The New Jersey Devils are tied with the Boston Bruins in the Eastern Conference. The Winnipeg Jets are tied for a playoff spot. Cats and dogs are living together. And the entire Eastern Conference (specifically the Southeast) is crazier than Don Cherry hepped up on goofballs.

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The Ottawa freakin’ Senators are en fuego. They’ve won three straight games handily, including a 6-0 of my Isles this afternoon, which they badly deserved, because they wore those awful black third jerseys again today. Sorry I ran them at the top of this post, by the way.

And finally…

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If you know anything about tendencies of Englewood, New Jersey’s Pierre McGuire, you’re aware that he loves to tell you where everyone is from, where they played junior/college hockey, and much, much more. From the Minnesota Wild’s Matt Kassian:

Yeahhh, that seems about right.

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