These events may or may not have transpired as I will depict.

Disclaimer: The following may or may not have happened on the set to cause the above picture to be taken the way it was.

Darren Pang: Darren was having a rough day today. He had his usual Honey Nut Cheerios to start, but it turns out that the milk was actually expired by a couple of days. He went fine as he went through his morning errands, but his stomach started to feel a little gross while he went shopping for a new stopwatch to time his words per minute. He finished his day trying to contain his indigestion while he failed to keep his attention on his daily tasks. He cut off at least three cyclists on the way to the rink and parked in a handicap spot, which nobody was supposed to know about until he was ratted out by…

Mike Johnson: Mike has been watching Mad Men all day which is why he opted for the muted gray suit to accompany his black skinny tie. He was once walking through a drug store when he was stopped in the magazine aisle by a lady who felt the need to tell him he looked like Jon Hamm. Ever since that moment he has tried to channel his inner Don Draper. In fact, he makes his own pomade from bacon grease. At any rate, his new nihilistic approach to the world has made him increasingly likely to call people out for indiscretions. Once they went to air he felt the urge to comment on Darren’s odd complexion and poor choice in parking which has prompted this furrowed brow from Mr. Pang.

Doug Weight: Doug has been taking guff all day long and he’s not taking guff any more. As the elder statesman of the people not involved in this tiff he feels the need to take a stand for his fellow guff takers. The day started when his kids asked him why breakfast wasn’t made. He rebutted that “back in his day kids made their own breakfast.” He was cut off by someone on the drive to the rink. He thought that back in his day people respected other drivers. Once the young pup Johnson took a shot at a helpless, queasy Pang, Weight decided to play mediator. “NOT AGAIN” he cried before preaching respect for elders.

Kathryn Tappen: Kathryn thinks Doug Weight is cute in the sort of way that people think old couples on the train home from a play are cute. Doug goes about his business quietly and slowly, voices his opinions in a hushed manner for the most part and gets on with his day before he turns in at 7 pm. Occasionally she sees what he’s up to and quietly says “Aw” to herself. Today, once she knows that one of his age fueled, morally steeped rants is coming, she giggles to herself because she knows that she’s totally validated for pigeonholing him this way. In a moment she’ll order a camomile tea with honey for Doug, because she knows he gets muscle stiffness from agitation.

Kevin Weekes: Kevin has no bloody idea what’s going on. They put him on the far side of the table after he woke up this morning with a slight inner ear infection. He couldn’t hear his wife talking to him at the dinner table, he didn’t hear what his producer whispered into his ear about giving compelling analysis to balance out the gongshow to his right, and he most certainly can’t understand what got Doug Weight in a tizzy, though he assumes that it has to do with his phone not unlocking or a technologically based issue to that effect.

Poor Kevin Weekes.

End Scene.

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