So, apparently the Toronto Maple Leafs decided to spruce up their dressing room a bit. And hey, why not? They’ve got sacks on sacks on sacks of money, so they might as well operate in a top-notch facility, keep their building a place where players desire to be, and just generally keep things updated.

Leafs’ coach Randy Carlyle had this to say on it:

“I just thought the room looked dark and tired in places. A lot of things had to be updated, such as the carpet, but we’ve also added some artwork, like murals and photos. There will also be some changes to things like the stalls, that a modern-day player in Toronto is going to appreciate.”

Right on, right on, my man, my man.

While browsing Reddit Hockey this morning, I came across a video linked from the Sun News Network, and it is truly, truly awful.

Extensive Googling has led me to believe the host’s name is David Menzies. (UPDATE: It is, and he’s the same guy who told Brian Burke to stop hiding behind the gay flag.)

He thinks that Randy Carlyle thinks upgrading the room is going fix the Leafs problems. “Why not spend that money on a goalie or a first-line center?” Good point Menzies. Leafs hadn’t thought of that yet, just you. Both are readily available, too. He thought the quote warranted naming Randy Carlyle as the Sun News “Moron of the Morning,” which is a thing he’s decided is a solid feature to have on a show with his name on it.

Holy Martha Stewart, Batman.”

Fresh.

Let’s break it down.

First, let’s start with a video calling out morons misspelling “Martha Stewart” as a title. Moving on. (UPDATE: They fixed it!)

At one point, he chirps Carlyle for adding a few motivational phrases to the walls, which every dressing room ever has included. He follows that immediately with ”How about this as a motivational messages, ‘Just win, baby‘.”

YOU DONE GOT ZUNGED, LEAFS.

How exactly does upgrading a dressing room make a guy a moron? Is making Toronto a better place to play a bad thing? If that shit didn’t matter, players wouldn’t be filing grievances to void trades that would force them to play in Nassau Coliseum 41 times a year.

I mean, sorry to get all ranty, but did anybody say the room is the reason the team loses so often? HAHAHA THE VISITORS WIN THEY SHOULD DRESS IN THAT ROOM.

And what the fuck was with the car thing? Who was even talking about cars? OH, LIFESTYLE, I GET IT. The dripping sarcasm on “maybe it’s not just the dowdy dressing room that’s at fault” reminded me exactly of this Homer Simpson riff on Glenn Beck (be sure to go watch that. Skip to 2:45 of part one and compare Homer’s tone  - “Oo – what a lovely touch” – to Menzies’).

But seriously, why did we have to watch entire the entire 30 seconds of that car commercial for him to make that terrible stretch of a joke?

At least when the Cordiba was manufactured, folks, the Leafs actually made the playoffs.”

He could not have been more proud of that joke. Positively beside himself.

And for thinking the dressing room is the reason this team stinks -”

Nobody ever said that. Not one person, ever, of all-time said that about the Toronto Maple Leafs. You’re the guy who interpreted a dressing room upgrade as that message.

- well, two minutes for being such an imbecile, coach Carlyle.”

HAHA TWO MINUTES HOW TOPICAL BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU GET IN THE GAME OF HOCKEY WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG.

And that ladies and gentleman, is your Moron of the Morning.”

Yup.

Comments (22)

  1. I want to take this post out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

  2. Did you really mean to write “more better”?

  3. JT, welcome to Sun Media. That’s essentially what they are on every and any topic.

  4. http://www.thefastertimes.com/hockey/2012/05/10/david-menzies-tragically-wrong-about-brian-burke-gay-rights-bullying/

    You can see what type of person Menzies is from the above post. Total waste of skin.

    • this guy hit the nail on the head…the leafs deserve to be getting changed in the parking lot…bunch of overpaid bums that wouldnt make it anywhere else…and burke was prancing around with homosexuals on trade deadline day…i dont know how your jobs are out there…but in my world, that shit doesnt fly

      • Gonna go out on a limb and say that your job doesn’t include any sort of community ambassador type work.

      • I assume the “prancing around with homosexuals” refers to Burke going to the Pride Parade on July 1st. Only problem is that July 1st isn’t trade deadline day, it’s the first day of free agency. Kind of a big difference there. I’m guessing you’re really not much of a hockey fan so I’ll just move along without further comment as your opinion isn’t worth much.

      • From the context, I assume your world is spraying down shoes at the local bowling alley. That way, you don’t have to worry about “knowing any facts.”

  5. Just looking at that guys (menzies) face makes me clench my fist in anger

  6. That guy’s got way too many teeth in the cave. Someone should knock a few out.

  7. Am I the only one who thinks this guy sounds exactly like Snagglepuss? I couldn’t take a word he said seriously because I was picturing a cartoon cat the whole time. I’m surprised he didn’t wrap it up with “Exit, stage left.”

    http://youtu.be/k4qFxTTi8q0

  8. I wouldn’t listen to a man who is named after menstrual blood.

  9. He is insinuating the Leafs have made the choice between dressing room or goalie. That had they signed a goalie, they wouldn’t have any cash left to recarpet the dressing room.

    Yes, an idiot is given air time……what a shock. How these guys keep a job is beyond me. I wonder what the crew filming this rant had a say when he was finished. High fives all around?

    Please.

  10. He looks like a pedophile.

    The picture is cut off, but he is holding a sign that says “Free Candy”

  11. Notice where the arrow is pointing on his little side screen? Appropriate i think.

  12. This is Sun News and that video squarely hit their target market. Not too critical or analytical (i.e. intelligent)

  13. LOL HE SAID THE S WORD

  14. ……AND THE F WORD

  15. first off does anyone know the year of the car they were sick in thier day . sad part is this guys right toronto is the bottom feeder of the nhl when it comes to finding talent the leafs need more canadian players i heard a rumor the the leafs turned done a game against the guelph gryphon girls hockey the girls even agreed not body check kessel until burke leaves this team will always be at the bottom

  16. Sun news? Do people actually watch that channel? I thought it was off the air. Are they still complaining about the CBC?
    Jokers.
    BTW , nice teeth moron.

  17. what a joke sun media please cancel yourselves

  18. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Just think, the SUN laughing at reputable businesses. Hilarious, seeing as how they need to drop bikini’s in to sell news…….wait, not that I mind bikini’s. In fact, just drop the news for those that can, and stick with what you know sun news – bikini’s.

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