Image via DavidLasnier.com

If Bob Cole were doing NHL play-by-play today, he’d give us the slightly less-awesome “…NOTHING IS HAPPENING!”

The NHL cancelled the first two weeks of regular season games because of that terrible thing you did when you were a kid. It’s either that, or because the NHL and NHLPA are being stubborn, unreasonable, unrelentingly proud, and a bunch of other words I’d say out loud in person but probably shouldn’t type.

The official word, from NHL.com:

The National Hockey League announced today the cancellation of the 2012-13 regular-season schedule through October 24. A total of 82 regular-season games were scheduled for Oct. 11 through Oct. 24.

The cancellation was necessary because of the absence of a Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NHL Players’ Association and the NHL.

“Necessary” seems like incorrect wording here, despite being technically true.

If the rumours are correct, the NHL will continue cancelling the NHL season in two week chunks, the equivalent of being tortured to death versus a straight up cancellation, which would be more like being hit by a bus.

At least there’s this:

Guh.

Backhand Shelf has handy lockout plans ready to go into full effect (“was Wendel Clark actually good? MY REVIEW, after the jump”), but that won’t stop you from being able to tell that I’m slowly descending into madness.

So, introducing the BMS reader (Bourne’s Mental Status), which will be defined by a word, not a number. Today, October 3rd, 2012, the day the first two weeks of the season were cancelled, you get: Peachy.

I just moved to Toronto, there’s still time for a full season, and though I’m skeptical, I’m unnecessarily hopeful. So, peachy. We’ll start there.