(Personal opinion: kind of a jerk move to juke a teammate who wants to celly with you to have your own little skate. But for the purpose of this post, I’ll let that slide.)

Allow me to submit the nickname “Austin ABSURD-ia” for your review. The above goal was scored by the gent in the headline, a 19 year-old who took the BCHL’s “Player of the Week” honours with four goals and five points in two games over the weekend.

This should be a fun off-season game to play with junior and Euro hockey: Praise (for the goal scorer) or Shame (for the D and/or goalie)?

Reasons for praise: Absurdia, with under six seconds to go, shows patience in passing up a long shot to try to dangle one-on-two, succeeds, then buries one under the bar on the tender, winning the game for the Langley Rivermen (Rivermen? What happened to the Hornets? Chiefs?) with 0.3 seconds left on the clock.

Whatever the overall decision, he deserves love for that fantaculous, miraculous last second goal.

Reasons for shame: Good lord, it was a one-on-two in the dying seconds and a kid got walked, bad. Absurdia barely got touched. And tender, it’s literally the last second – he has no option but to shoot. When a guy can’t deke, get yourself square, will ya?


Getting roasted one-on-two is terrible. Getting roasted on that situation in the dying seconds is worse. But not noting that the Rivermen went D-to-D, Absurdia provided support, then single-handedly won the game for his team would be a major faux pas.

Your first ever episode of Praise or Shame concludes with a resounding:


…for Austin Azurdia.

But more importantly, praise for the commentator. That guy could run for mayor.

(Stick-tap to Sean Leahy and Jimmy Traina)