Three! Three seconds was all it took for the Abbotsford Heat to score twice yesterday, shattering the old AHL mark of five (the NHL record for fastest two goals by the same team is four seconds). That would be impressive enough, but to top it off, they were short-handed. I’m guessing that’s not how Marlies coach Dallas Eakins drew up the PP (and Jesus, Paul Ranger on that first goal…you’re brutal).

Even more delightful is the fact that they were scored on Ben Scrivens, because it’s fun when Leafs fans panic about their goaltending situation. I mean, the dude let the second shot in from center. How terrible is he, amirite? And that’s only AHL hockey, ugh. He’s going to get lit on shots from center in the NHL, obviously.

The video is horrendous, I know. The commentator gives it Joe Buck-level enthusiasm and we don’t get to see the second goal. Still. Two goals in three seconds. Not bad.