Welcome back to One-Touch Passes, our periodic feature that hits on the most important stories of note from around the hockey world, quickly provides some opinion, and moves on even quicker. Get it, like a one-touch pass. It’s clever, shut up. Let’s get to it.

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Justin Schultz’s professional hockey career is off to a mind-blowing start

If you’re leading the AHL in scoring after a month, you’re doing something right. If you’re leading the AHL in scoring after a month as a defenseman? Geez. That’s some kind of tear.

If you’re leading the AHL in scoring after a month and you’re a defenseman and you’re a rookie and you’re up by a couple points…yeah. High five.

The last sentence can be attached to the Edmonton Oilers’ prospect Justin Schultz, a kid who was courted by just about every team in the NHL after not signing with the team that drafted him, Anaheim (sorry to remind you, Ducks fans). Here’s the AHL’s top 20 scorers:

There’s plenty of names of note on that list: Faulk, Granland, Foligno – Horak has a ton of goals – Baertschi, Schenn and others – but man, that is one hell of start by the 22 year old. Clearly he’s handling the pressure okay.

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Jeremy Roenick legit tried to set up a fight with a Twitter follower last week, and it was excellent

I’m sad to report that it appears Jeremy Roenick has since deleted the back-and-forth he had with a Twitter follower last week. In a nutshell, he got chirped (as so many of us do), wasn’t able to bite his tongue, fired back, and boom. It was on.

The troll changed his picture to one of a bloodied JR from his playing days, and JR was explicitly clear about when he would be in the follower’s town (Toronto area) and when and where to meet, so he could A) say the same shit to JRs face, then B) get his punched in.

The excellent Twitter follow and Toronto-based lawyer Kid Canada was online when Roenick was trying to figure out how to make kicking someone’s ass legal. Below is the conversation as compiled by USA Today (not sure where it was originally assembled, that’s just the first place I found it).

“As long as I don’t get sued,” love it. Arrest is cool, but I’d like to keep my money.

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Negotiations going dark

Found from Pro Hockey Talk’s post on the NHL going silent during negotiations this week:

Obviously that wouldn’t have worked well for me as a blogger throughout this process, but in hindsight, it feels like they could’ve got a lot more done a lot sooner had they not worried so much what the hell Fan A was saying on the street.

Hopefully this helps.

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Fire up the Rickety DiPietro jokes

Oh god, is this true? Did Rick DiPietro pull his groin again? It’s Bleacher Report, so take that for what it’s worth. (Update: he is, here’s the official story, just translate it to english. Time to update HealthyRicky.com)

And finally…

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This happened

Friends of the blog Harrison Mooney and Sean Gentille did a bad, bad thing this weekend.

During a twitter exchange, they were going back and forth replacing lyrics to a Robyn song with lockout-based ones (I know, whatever, plow through that part with me), and Mooney decided the lyrics were so good they’d have to go forward with something.

He hooked up with Vancouver Videographer Mark Yuen, and created what’s become the talk of the online hockey community below. You’d need a thousand adjectives to dial it in. Here’s Harrison Mooney in “Call The Union” (as seen on Puck Daddy), apparently duplicating Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend.”