I’m dying laughing over here. Above are the individual headshots from Biel, the Swiss team that signed hockey bros Patrick Kane and Tyler Seguin. The pics are on their website, where a number of players are holding axes.

…SO. SICK.

I love that:

* They photoshopped the players into, as Deadspin put it, “a post-apocalyptic hellscape.”

* That they’re poorly photoshopped, specifically Kane.

* That they had the guys go no shirts, just shoulder pads.

* That they went no smiles and dirty-faced, to bring out the guys’ rugged sexiness.

* That Kane and Seguin clearly weren’t there on photoshoot day, and they were like, fuck it, this won’t in any way look completely hilarious and out of place. Let’s still set them against the fire-kissed cloud background. Kane looks like such an adorable little boy.

(Stick-tap to Deadspin, Reddit)

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One more note: I’d play my bag off if this were my coach. Here’s Kevin Schläpfer:

Comments (3)

  1. I see your point, JB – he looks totally Gordon Ramsay in that photo!

  2. Is it just me, or does the guy at bottom middle look like Patrick Swayze?

  3. Although they missed the photoshoot, might they also have been shot wearing their jerseys and not the Easton products because they’re endorsed by Bauer?

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