Hockey Ughs is the cynical sister to Puck Daddy’s Hockey Hugs, a feature written by my same-sex blog-partner Harrison Mooney from Pass it to Bulis. While Hockey Hugs highlights the joy of scoring a goal and celebrating it with your bestest buds, Hockey Ughs highlights the agony of the other team’s fans right behind the glass, watching those hugs.
The above image made the rounds a couple weeks ago when the Bruins made their improbable comeback in the third period of Game 7 against the Leafs. It perfectly encapsulates the shock, disgust, and despair that is the Hockey Ugh, but I just can’t bring myself to poke fun at the fans in this picture. The pain is just too stark and raw and it still somehow feels too soon.
Fortunately, the second round of the playoffs gave us plenty of other Hockey Ughs, as the stakes got higher and, with them, the potential for disappointment.
Jean-Gabriel Pageau perplexes a Penguins fan
Jean-Gabriel Pageau was a surprise star for the Senators in the first round, scoring 5 points in 5 games against the Canadiens, including a hattrick in Game 3. For one brief, shining moment, it looked like he would continue his playoff heroics, scoring early in the third period of Game 2 against the Penguins, lowering their deficit to just 1 goal. It was, unfortunately, as close as they’d come and Pageau didn’t score another point as the Senators bowed out in 5 games.
He did, at the very least completely befuddle this one Penguins fan:
Why yes, yes he did.
Is he allowed to do that?
No he’s not. I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to do that.
What? Why not?
He’s totally not allowed to score a goal. You’re not allowed to score unless you’re on the Penguins.
The Senators scored 2 goals before this one.
Yeah, but now we have Vokoun in net. You’re only allowed to score on the Penguins if Fleury is in net.
Vokoun was in net for the other goals.
A Kings fan is horrified by a Sharks goal
Marc-Edouard Vlasic has just scored to give the Sharks a 3-2 lead in the third period of Game 2, but most of the Kings fans are taking it in stride. Their reactions are muted, topping out at a calm disdain. All except for one guy. One guy at the far left is flustered as all hell.
Seriously, this guy is awesome. He is completely aghast that the Sharks have shown the audacity to score a goal. Either that or he just had a terrible thought.
I just had a terrible thought.
Oh, well there you go.
What if this is just some terrible dream?
Well, as nightmares go, this isn’t all that bad. Heck, the Kings even go on to win this game. Trust me, I’m from the future.
But what if I wake up and it turns out I fell asleep in the middle of an exam in high school that I forgot to study for and I’m completely naked?
…I think that’s unlikely.
This woman is very disappointed in Daniel Cleary
Valtteri Filppula just scored an insurance goal in the third period of Game 2, putting the Red Wings up 4-1 over the Blackhawks. This woman, however, isn’t upset.
I know that look. Combined with those crossed arms, that look indicates that she’s not mad, just disappointed. Specifically, she’s disappointed in Daniel Cleary, with that look that says, “Your father and I taught you better than that.”
I am almost certain this photo was taken right in the middle of a slight shake of the head and just before she sighed heavily and reluctantly grounded Cleary for a week.
Somehow, the disappointed look felt like more of a punishment to Cleary than getting grounded, but he tried to cover it up by stomping up the stairs as loudly as possible and slamming the door.
Tyler Seguin kills three with one blow
It took a long time for Tyler Seguin to score his first goal of the playoffs, but when he finally did, it was a big one, tying up Game 4 between the Bruins and Rangers and sending it to overtime. Of course, the Bruins lost that game, but still, it was a timely goal.
It also completely ruined these three dudes sitting in a row:
They’re devastated, but not nearly as much as this guy, who simultaneously has to deal with being surrounded by cheering Bruins fans and is just desperately trying to hide:
Sorry, buddy, covering your head with your hands won’t stop the bad feelings from getting in.
All the feels
Just one last one, but it’s a doozy.
It’s an elimination game, with your team on the brink of being ignominiously swept. Still, you buy your ticket — a good one too, in the lower bowl, just a few rows up from the ice — believing in your team, knowing that they can claw their way back.
Then your opponent scores the opening goal, right in front of you and celebrates just a metre or two away. How do you feel?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. This poor guy’s barely holding back the waterworks and there’s still nearly two periods left to play. Everyone else is holding it together, but this poor guy’s this close to eating his commemorative towel.
With the Rangers losing Game 5, I’m worried about this guy. He’s going to be an emotional wreck for a week straight, just eating entire tubs of ice cream in one sitting while wearing yoga pants and a sweat shirt.