Ellen Etchingham

Recent Posts

Pittsburgh Penguins v Colorado Avalanche

 

On March 5th, in a game between the New York Rangers and the Philadelphia Flyers, Rangers defenseman Marc Staal took a deflected shot to the eye.  This is old news- last month might as well be the 17th century in the information torrent of a hockey season- and, since it looks as though Staal will recover fully, is of little interest to anyone other than fantasy hockeyists and Rangers fans.  It did, however, add some color to the recent Board of Governors meeting, where the subject of a mandatory visor rule was again revisited.  Perhaps in light of Staal’s injury, certainly in light of all the other eye injuries that have befallen important visorless players over the years, the League came out with a strong statement in favor of mandating shields for all new players.

This statement received a wave of support from the hockey commentariat, among whom the mandatory visor rule has long been popular.  But, as always, there’s a catch- despite favoring the rule, the NHL also stated that they wanted to work with the Players’ Association on the issue.  The Players’ Association, as one would expect, promised only to put the matter to their membership for a vote.

Needless to say, the Association’s position was not popular among commentators. The PA has a history of supporting the principle of individual choice when it comes to equipment selection, and all previous votes on mandatory visors have reflected this.  If history is any guide, the PA won’t support the rule and the BOG will drop the issue.  Adam Proteau suggested, paradoxically, that giving players choice was evidence that the League doesn’t care about them.  The astute Ryan Lambert wondered why, immediately after a prolonged, nasty labor dispute, the governors are so willing to play nice with the PA on safety concerns.  If the owners are willing to f*&k the players for fun and profit, why not f*&k them for their own good and the good of the game as well?  Our own Glorious Leader Bourne noted that teams put all sorts of regulations on their employees, and contended that visors should be no different.  At the furthest extreme, Cam Cole waxed nostalgic for the good old days, when the NHL unilaterally imposed whatever rules it wanted without having to consult the players at all.  It would be so much easier, so much better, if the League would just command the players to protect their eyes.

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Edmonton Oilers v Chicago Blackhawks

If you’re a hockey fan, you’re used to controversial hits.  They happen every night.  If you really wanted to, you could spend all day, every day, all season long doing nothing but watching videos of borderline thwacking and fighting with people on the internet about whether they were dirty or not.

But in last Monday’s Hawks-Oilers game, fans were treated to a rarer spectacle: a controversial non-hit. Nail Yakupov got the puck in the D-zone along the boards.  Daniel Carcillo lined him up from the circle.  Yakupov dished the puck up towards the blue line.  Carcillo decided to finish his check. Yakupov turned back towards the corner and ducked.  Carcillo launched himself, somewhat comically, into brainless glass.  And, at the next whistle, commentator Eddie Olczyk freaked out.

If you are Nail Yakupov of the Edmonton Oilers, you cannot do that to a player that’s coming. That’s a dangerous play by Nail Yakupov, because what happens is, when you duck like that, that player is going to go over the top of your shoulder and hit his face or his neck against the boards. To me, that should be a penalty on Yakupov. I see it at the amateur level; I’d like to see USA Hockey and amateur referees take control of that type of play. I hope it’s not being taught by coaches, but that’s a dangerous play. Somebody’s going to get really hurt when a player ducks like that.

Olczyk is right that Yakupov’s decision to duck is potentially dangerous for Carcillo.  If Carcillo is moving a little faster, if Yakupov is a little further off the boards, if the seconds and inches go wrong, Carcillo’s head could have hit that glass in a most icky way. Someone could surely have been hurt.

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Colorado Avalanche v Buffalo Sabres

Ryan O’Reilly, engaged in a scrupulously appropriate display of goal-celebration.

It is a curse to be born to overzealous parents.  While other kids are eating dirt and dismembering worms in the backyard, their child is sitting indoors doing long division, coated in hand sanitizer.  While most teenagers are drinking shitty beer and making out in basements, their precious muffin is drinking coffee through SAT prep.  I imagine having such parents is one long list of embarrassments and aggravations, full of extra meetings with teachers and nasty notes to coaches and being pulled aside to stand awkwardly in front of everyone while Mommy rambles on about what a special special flower you are.

Given the email his dad sent to the Denver Post, I assume Ryan O’Reilly never got to eat dirt.

This is the Don Cherry of emails, which is to say that it makes the most ordinary possible points in the craziest possible way.  Despite a disclaimer by Dater that the letter had been “lightly touched up for a couple minor spelling and punctuation things”, it’s not only riddled with such errors (“bases” instead of “basis”, “miss treat” instead of “mistreat”), but features Random Capitalization throughout, and unless you are writing about eighteenth century German philosophy or thirteenth century Catholic theology, you cannot capitalize common nouns without sounding crazy.  When you go, as Brian O’Reilly did, all the way to capitalizing conjunctions, you have lost any hope of being taken seriously. Read the rest of this entry »

Celly

Los Angeles Kings v Edmonton Oilers

 

The second you saw the celebration, you knew there was going to be criticism.  Partly because it was Yakupov, and somehow everything Yakupov does seems to draw criticism, as if the hockey world is still slightly offended by his youth and charm. But mostly because it was obviously, unrepentantly, intensely dramatic, and there is a contingent in hockey thought which  finds dramatic expressions of anything vaguely unwholesome, if not actively immoral.  Players get criticized for jumping into the glass.  Yakupov himself will later be criticized by an opposing color commentator for, of all things, a post-goal hug.  There’s no way you bolt half the length of the ice and spin several full rotations your knees while screaming so loud they can see your tonsils in Wichita without drawing some glowering condemnation.

But although there was certainly some disapproval, most of the reactions were moderate. Television networks did “teach the controversy” pieces without much controversy behind them and most analysts, while still expressing a token disapproval, excused the behavior.  It seems that the vocal condemnation of goal celebrations is now the province of a small and mostly elderly minority.  Like flowered suits, yelling, and controversial opinions, it’ll probably die with Don Cherry.  Even where players or reporters had some mild criticism of Yakupov, it was overwhelmingly gentle, even a little bit patronizing, framed with references to his youth, his exuberance, his fresh arrival in the NHL.  Hockey has an old custom of hammering the joy out of young players until they affect the world-weary, lunchbucket demeanor of an indifferent midrange ten-year veteran, but it seems like that culture is fading off.  In the 21st century, no one wants to play old before their time.

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Montreal Canadiens

 

There are more than a few irregularities in the beginning of a shortened season.  Things that would go smoothly in the standard cycle of season-postseason-offseason become unexpectedly complicated. With training camps delayed for months and then rushed, some players showed up on the ice with their timing all out of whack and their bodies all out of shape.  With contract negotiations delayed for months and then rushed, some players didn’t show up on the ice at all.  The opening of the 2013 season featured not one, not two, but three RFA holdout dramas- Benn in Dallas, Subban in Montreal, and O’Reilly in Colorado.  That’s a lot of holding-out for players with no discernable leverage.

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Gabriel Landeskog, line dancing.

Last Saturday, after taking a very large shoulder from a very large Shark directly to the head, Gabriel Landeskog- youngest captain in the NHL and the next great hope of the Colorado Avalanche- went into a quiet room somewhere in the bowels of the Pepsi Center for concussion testing. Fifteen minutes later he came out again.

No one but Landeskog and the doctor who treated him knows what happened in that room, but we all know what happened after: he came back out and finished the game, in fact playing almost the exact same amount of minutes he’d played in every game before. We also all know that Monday, two days after the hit, the Avs announced he would not be playing in the next game. Leg injury. And, oh yeah, head injury too.

So, reading between the lines (it ain’t hard, there’s enough space between those lines to write the Bible and then some), Landeskog was cleared to play despite having possible/probable concussion. This isn’t an uncommon thing in the modern NHL. Just off the top of my head, I can think of four players- Armstrong, Letang, Peckham, and Crosby- who’ve taken hits, played, and then been pulled later for concussion symptoms. This is not an Avs problem, this is an NHL concussion policy problem.

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We All Come Back

The torch business was a bit silly. Even the players seemed skeptical. Plekanec, who has been in Montreal a long while and has had to perform a great many ceremonial duties, frowned apologetically, as if he was already rehearsing his post-game mea culpas. Budaj chewed gum with the bland just-another-day-at-the-office expression which is so becoming on a backup goalie. Armstrong looked petrified; Bouillon looked teary; Pacioretty tried to stifle a smirk, with only moderate success. Erik Cole seemed to briefly consider swinging the torch round the bowl and screaming ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!? Perhaps the only player who got it exactly right was Galchenyuk, who held that fuckin’ thing high like the Statue of Liberty, his features set in a mask of fierce determination, with the total lack of irony common to overachieving teenagers and Habs fans in the throes of history.

It’s said that Montreal does ceremony well, but that depends on what you like in your ceremonies. Certainly no one in the NHL does it quite like the Habs. Other teams pump themselves up for the season with highlight reels and Nickelback. The Canadiens do it with old men, black and white photos, and live reenactments of poetry from the Great War. Such sepia sincerity would look ridiculous on any other franchise. Truth be told, sometimes it looks a little ridiculous on us.

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