Jake Goldsbie

Recent Posts

The 2013-14 Montoya Line Rankings

al montoya

Last year, I ranked all 67 goalies in the NHL according to a stat that I made up called the Montoya Line because I couldn’t think of anything better to do that day. I argued that Al Montoya was the exact definition of an “average” goalie in the NHL and, more importantly, his name kind of sounds like Mendoza so I could put it before the word “line” and make it sound official. Basically, I ranked each goalie, on a three-point system going either way, in relation to Al Montoya and also based on their names and my personal biases because I found it amusing. Well, here we are in another NHL season and I thought it might be a good idea to break out the rankings for this season.

To qualify, goalies must have played at least one game this season and that’s pretty much the beginning and the end of the necessary criteria. I am nothing if not stringent. As they were last year, these rankings are arbitrary, biased, and utterly, utterly meaningless.

Also, keep in mind that this isn’t an advanced stat (or even a real one) so it shouldn’t cause too much controversy on the Twitter. However, if you feel the need to disagree with me, please make sure you ironically retweet me before you state your opinion so all of your followers can see how wrong I am. Additionally, you could also put a “.” before my Twitter handle to ensure that your disagreement is seen by everyone because that’s how Hockey Twitter works. Remember, public shame is the best kind of shame. Read the rest of this entry »

Ugh

Ugh

Yesterday was a weird day.

The gamut of emotions that Leafs fans have been run through in the last seven days has been unlike anything I have ever experienced as a sports fan. You all know what happened by now, you don’t need a recap. Hell, I don’t need a recap. Ever. Walking into the office yesterday, seeing five screens all replaying the worst heartache I have ever experienced in sports, I mean…how do you even begin to justify that within your own sphere of reference.

The Toronto Maple Leafs did the unthinkable this year and I’m not referring to pushing the Boston Bruins to seven games. I’m referring to the fact that the Toronto Maple Leafs made the goddamn playoffs and there is nothing any heartbreaking loss can do to change that fact. Predictions ran rampant before the truncated 2013 season that the Leafs would finish anywhere from 9th to 15th in the Eastern Conference. The notion of a playoff birth was silly and justifiably so. When I said that the Leafs would finish seventh (I think) in our pre-season prediction podcast, I ridiculed my own choice. It was a homer pick, a fandom pick, a pick based out of the faint hope that there would be something to cheer for come April other than another draft lottery. I was wrong. This was the best wrong I had ever been.

Read the rest of this entry »

 

Brendan Shanahan is having some kind of busy playoffs. Looks like he’s going to have to deal with another one of those hearings pretty soon. Justin Abdelkader absolutely blew up Toni Lydman’s face with a hit to the head. Abdelkader got five and a game for this one.

On first look, this looks mighty dirty. We’ll see if the fact we’re in the playoffs dictates punishment.

Google Glass is the latest soon-to-be world dominating piece of technology from our friends at Google. It’s computer glasses, basically. Because I don’t understand technology, I went to Wikipedia for some information. Google Glass is a “wearable computer” that is planned to become the world’s first “mass-market ubiquitous computer” which sounds simultaneously horrifying and pretty awesome. From what I’ve gathered it sounds like a smartphone and a laptop on your face. The future. It’s also impossible to wear without looking totally ridiculous.

"I just uploaded 4 GB of Animal Collective bootlegs to my glasses. What did you do today?" (photo credit: Mashable)

“I just uploaded 4 GB of Animal Collective bootlegs to my glasses. What did you do today?” (photo credit: Mashable)

Read the rest of this entry »

Not pictured: mental stability, dignity

Not pictured: mental stability, dignity

The NHL playoffs can be a stressful and scary time. The nature of hockey allows things to change in an instant. Change is scary. Then there’s the unpredictability of the NHL playoffs (see: Kings, Los Angeles). The unknown is scary. Then you have overtime which is literally called “sudden death” which, I mean, come on.

Read the rest of this entry »

New Jersey Devils v New York Rangers

Three Stars Monday, y’all.

Our good friend Scott Lewis finishes his tenure with us as Bourne returns tomorrow, likely peeling from a horrifying sunburn. Or so we assume. We had a fun show today to start the final week of the NHL season (which is crazy).

We discussed:

* The Devils & Oilers being eliminated from playoff contention

* The Minnesota Wild struggling to hold on

* Jack Edwards saying things he probably shouldn’t

* Nathan Horton being an idiot

* Matt Cooke’s rehabilitation

* The Rangers getting hot

* The rules of playoff beards

* The Leafs clinching (deal with it)

* And more stuff

 

You can listen to it here:

Download it here, and subscribe on iTunes hereFacebook!

 

"Na ah hoo hoo"

“Na ah hoo hoo”

Oh, is it ever Friday.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m on about 42 minutes of sleep from watching all the craziness going down in Boston all night. It’s also Friday. All those elements made for an…interesting show.

We discussed:

* The Senators beat the Capitals

* Erik Karlsson’s potential return

* The value of fights and momentum

* The race for 8th in the West and the East

* The worst Canadian bands of all-time

* And some other stuff.

You can listen to it here:

Download it here, and subscribe on iTunes hereFacebook!