Archive for the ‘Awk-warrrd’ Category


If I’m not mistaken, this is not how the song is supposed to go.

(S/t Deadspin)

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Pull Together

Roman Hamrlik (#44) receiving the last hug he will ever get from Troy Brouwer (#20).

“I am disgusted. We have to push Fehr to the wall to get the deal. Time is against us. We lost 1/4 season, it is $425 million. Who will give it back to us? Mr. Fehr?

“There should be voting between players. Four questions – YES or NO – then count it. If half of players say let’s play, then they should sign new CBA. If there is no season he should leave and we will find someone new. Time is our enemy.”

- Roman Hamrlik, as reported on Puck Daddy.

Let’s start with an obvious point: Hamrlik isn’t wrong. Regardless of how you feel about his decision to say it- which we’ll be talking about for a thousand words after this paragraph- his position is completely valid. The players are losing money by holding out; many of them are losing the last season of their career. As many observers have noted, time is their enemy. Hamrlik, who is 38 years old and has already lost over a hundred career games to labor unrest, is a natural spokesman for that contingent of players who is losing far more in this battle than they can hope to win. He’s honestly speaking his interests, and it’s extremely likely that a substantial faction of the PA feels the same way, because Lord knows they have the same interests and not everyone is so altruistic as to sacrifice a year of professional hockey opportunity over HRR percentage points. As far as raw information goes, these comments are nothing more than the confirmation of shit we already knew.

And yet, although uncounted dozens of guys probably nodded along while reading Hamrlik’s rant, so far all of them save teammate Michal Neuvirth have swallowed their discontent and kept their mouths shut. Why? Fragmenting the PA would be the easiest way to get what they want: a deal signed and the game back on the ice. If fifty guys came out together and said, we are prepared to take whatever is on the table right now, they’d be instant heroes in the eyes of many fans and certainly in the eyes of their owners, and they’d undermine the solidarity that allows Fehr to conjure leverage out of air. If getting back on the ice is your highest priority, then it’d be supremely logical to do as Hamrlik did and let your grievances fly.

But (almost) no one does.

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Dave Schultz was one of the meanest, toughest players to ever lace ‘em up in the NHL. The guy still holds the NHL record for most penalty minutes in a season with 472.

Fans always gravitate to men like him, and considering he played during the Broad Street Bullies era, you can only imagine how popular he was. So beloved, in fact, that he agreed to record a song called “Penalty Box.”

Was your first thought “Oh no”? It should’ve been. Read the rest of this entry »

Would you believe Alexandre Daigle is tweeting NHL trade rumours from an anonymous Twitter account? No? Congratulations, you're not an idiot. (Rick Stewart, Getty Images)

Reason #7356 the hockey offseason makes me sad: the most talked about hockey-related story on Twitter yesterday was not Max Pacioretty signing a 6-year extension with the Canadiens. Instead, everyone was talking about the outing of infamous rumour mongerer HockeyyInsiderr as a 17-year-old high school student.

A 16-year-old OJHL scout by the name of Jonathan Kyriacou did a little amateur online detective work and connected a series of dots that seemed to identify the supposed insider as Alex Dulude. Unsurprisingly, Dulude has not worked for 4 NHL teams and doesn’t have contacts throughout the league. I’m not entirely convinced that Kyriacou has pinpointed the right guy – his “evidence” is a combination of trusting the word of the guy he’s trying to prove is a liar and a fair amount of conjecture – but Deadspin picked it up and ran with it, officially making it “big news”.

None of this is properly entertaining or newsworthy. Most people had already concluded that HockeyyInsiderr was a far cry from trustworthy and the way he dealt with his critics meant he was already pegged as having the maturity of a 17-year-old.

But what happened next was thoroughly entertaining, as the supposed insider went off the deep end.

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Chagrined

The press conferences accompanying the Stanley Cup playoffs have gotten much more attention than usual it seems. Between the John Tortorella 36 word odysseys, general Sutter-isms, Dave Tippett and general “I’d tell you what I think but I don’t want to pay for it” comments, these have been much more entertaining than your average pressers.

Today Darryl Sutter was a little… chagrined… with a question from the gallery that asked why game fours have given his team so much trouble. Apparently the inability to sweep every single team you face is a problem.

Here’s Sutter’s reaction.
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Boom. Roasted.

Droughts are nasty business and in sports they are cringeworthy and sad. When droughts run in to one another, they just become a cruel, cruel joke.

Toronto fans are all too accustomed to the droughts upon droughts as their 43 season long Stanley Cup drought has run into their seven season long playoff drought which both fall under the umbrella of their four decades of sadness manifesto which doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon.

And, according to our friends at Reddit Hockey — specifically whatever lucky soul has the username “lattesandlibraries” — this popped up in an abnormal psychology textbook.

Surely there are good “abnormal psychology” jokes to be made about Leafs Nation but I digress.

Toronto aside, which fanbase needs to chill out and have a beer the most?

When Travis Zajac of the New Jersey Devils took a penalty last night, it couldn’t have made his coach Peter DeBoer too happy. What’s worse for Zajac, is that the penalty box door was jammed, leaving him to stand - namebar facing his bench, no less - for eight minutes while the staff at Madison Square Garden tried to bust it open.

A few quick thoughts:

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