Archive for the ‘Detroit Red Wings’ Category


Colton Orr is a professional hockey player. In his fifth season with the Toronto Maple Leafs and 10th in the NHL, Orr’s best season was in 2009-10 when he registered a career-high 4 goals and 6 points in 82 games. While he is best-known for the damage he does with his fists, Orr was kind enough to use his hands to type his diary for Backhand Shelf. These are Orr’s entries for the first week of the NHL season.

Monday, September 30

Rents do. I hate payig rent. dave Nonis gave me a two-year contract for $1.8 million in the summer but you’d be surprised how quikly you can blow it all on fruity pebbles and ultimate fighting lessons. I also give money to the homeless in exchange for letting me fight them. You’d be surprised how tough homeless people can be but I never lose a fight to the homeless lol

The season starts tomorrow and I am EXCITANT!!!!!1 We play the Canadians and they are all really small and I can’t wait to hit them. It’s as close as I wil ever come to hitting children. Randi Carlily says they have George Parros now. He’s a good friend. I like him a lot. I really hope I get to punch him in the face. Read the rest of this entry »

Valtteri Filppula enjoys his last few moments with an intact ankle as Andrew Shaw plots his devious slewfoot.

Valtteri Filppula enjoys his last few moments with an intact ankle as Andrew Shaw plots his devious slewfoot.

For a move that’s worth a match penalty and so inherently dangerous, it’s amazing how often a slewfoot happens. What’s more amazing is how often players get away with it. Somehow the slewfoot is also one of the most-defended moves, with someone always willing to loudly claim it was just a hockey play, no matter how blatant. This year’s playoffs have already had their share of slewfoots (slewfeet?), all of which have somehow avoided anything more than a minor penalty.

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Riley Sheahan is a 20-year old Red Wings prospect currently playing for the Grand Rapids Griffins of the AHL. On October 29th he was pulled over in scary, dangerous condition. Here’s what you need to know:

* He was going the wrong way on a one-way street in a 2012 Jeep Wrangler. That’ll get you pulled over pretty consistently.

* He failed two sobriety tests before refusing to blow into the breathalyzer.

* He was wearing a purple Teletubby costume. …Stay with me here.

* The officers thought they pulled over his teammate Brendan Smith because they were shown Smith’s ID, which Sheahan later admitted he carries to get into bars. As in, he must have given that one to them by mistake.

* He agreed to be breathalyzed at the police station, where they charged him with “super-drunk” driving, as his blood alcohol level was .30. The legal limit is 0.08, and the baseline for a “super-drunk” charge is 0.17.

He pleaded not guilty(?), and has his next hearing December 13th, where he’ll be facing up to 180 days in jail, and possible deportation, given that he’s not an American citizen.

Sooo, yeah: maybe that was more of a cab night. (Who wears a Teletubby costume out thinking “I’m sure I’ll be good to drive home, I’ll take the vehicle there.”)

As pointed out by (linked below), the Red Wings top pick in the draft was also charged with public intoxication and minor alcohol consumption in 2010 during his first year at Notre Dame.

I’ll refrain from too many snide asides here, given the danger he put himself and others in, but you can’t help but cock your head to the side here and wonder what kind of night that was: wrong way, “super-drunk,” purple Teletubby digs, wrong ID…geezus. Pull it together, man.

(Stick-tap to, via Pro Hockey Talk)

Welcome to the internet, official home of the dichotomy. Twitter commentary and the gratification that comes with instantaneous analysis means the middle ground has been eradicated from our lives. We can glue the goat horns on anyone well before a game is lost. We can praise a player for a step forward well before they take their two steps back. And we love it.

What follows from this is all players are lumped into a love ‘em or hate ‘em category. Think of the best players in the world. You will find that 99.9999% of them fall well short of a unanimous opinion. Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, the Sedin twins, Steven Stamkos, Claude Giroux, etc. Go down the list and it is apparent that there are plenty of human beings who are not ‘avin what these guys are bringin’.

Love ‘em or hate ‘em? Do or do not. There is no try.

I would like to posit, however, that there is one throwback left. The one player left in this generation who we can all agree on. Who we all watch while we sit back and smirk and think “Yeah, this guy. He’s awesome.”

Pavel Datsyuk.
Read the rest of this entry »

“Well, does it work?”

Lumped beneath the noise of criticism heaped on a football coach for “icing” a kicker, not enough people were asking the legitimate question. “Does calling a timeout before a kicker attempts a long field goal help prevent the kick from being successful?”

(This is a hockey blog, and we’ll get to the hockey-related content shortly)

As it turns out, no, it doesn’t. Much of the criticism of Philadelphia Eagles’ head coach Andy Reid’s decision to call a timeout to “ice” New York Giants’ kicker Lawrence Tynes came as a result of the fact that Tynes missed the kick that took place on the dead play.

Tynes would go on to miss the second attempt as well (turns out it’s hard to kick a field goal from 54 yards) but we went into the night with many columnnists and commentators going after Reid for his own individual actions, being such an easy target, nobody was questioning the practice itself.

Icing the kicker is a football convention that’s only sometimes challenged by people who actually have a stake in football games. These would be coaches who, after research shows that on long field goal attempts the practice doesn’t make these kicks any less successful, continue to operate applying their own philosophy on the game instead of what actually happened.

Hockey has a long way to go as well. There are ways to manipulate both the rulebook and convention to gain an advantage.

Read the rest of this entry »

Recently Reddit Hockey ran the above video (created by “hockeysemin“), called The King of Steals. We all know Pavel Datsyuk is a tremendous all-around player, but seeing the sheer number of times he lifts the puck from opponents is a sight to behold.

I wrote a bit about the pleasure of a good stick lift yesterday – this guy has turned it into art.

This blog isn’t usually a hotspot for fashion discussion, but today some players were dressed so spectacularly it needs to be highlighted.

Bruce Arthur was in attendance for the NHLPA presser, and he snapped this shot of the well dressed (and holy shit ripped) Tyler Seguin, a guy who appears to be a cross of Milan Lucic and Brad Marchand riding a chicken dressed in boat shoes with a Chili Peppers t-shirt (I believe it’s Lucic – shouldn’t he be taller?), and….Henrik Zetterberg.

Dude is tongues out in all-white high tops, in either track or dress pants (please be track), a simple “PEACE” tee and a cardigan that sort of matches his flat brimmed (presumably) Tigers hat.

If I had to guess how Zetterberg dressed in his spare time, I only would’ve gotten one thing right: the cardigan.

(Stick-tap to Puck Daddy)