Archive for the ‘General Amusement’ Category

(Len Redkoles, Getty Images)

(Len Redkoles, Getty Images)

Today at 11 am, Daniel Alfredsson will finally hold a press conference in Ottawa after shocking Senators fans by signing with the Detroit Red Wings a little over a month ago. It’s likely that it will be a fairly unsurprising affair: Alfredsson will thank Senators fans for all their support over the years, express how much he loves the city of Ottawa, and explain that it was a tough decision but he felt he had to do what was best for his career.

Except for Senators fans seeking closure, it will likely be bland and boring. In other words, it will be a press conference with a hockey player.

But what if it wasn’t bland and boring? What if it was a surprising and unexpected, full of flights of fancy and bizarre occurrences? What if Alfredsson’s press conference was actually entertaining? I imagined such a press conference in my head and here are the 20 things I want to see:

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karlsson's dog

Today Erik Karlsson tweeted “Thanks for helping me pack buddy. #nemo big thanks to the staff working around us this year! Extra thank to u Cookie.”

As you know, nobody is allowed to walk on the team logo in the dressing room, so like you, I’m secretly hoping his pup relieved himself on it just for drama’s sake.

I’m not sharing this to make fun of small dogs, or imply they’re less masculine or whatever. I’m sharing this because of course Erik Karlsson has a tiny dog. Quick, nimble, sharp…it just makes too much sense. They say people buy animals that look like themselves, so excuse me while I scour the net for pictures of Dustin Byfuglien’s Neopolitan Mastiff (Byfuglien’s still in late-puppy phase).

For those super into animals, his dog is a floofy little Pomeranian named Nemo. Of course.

(S/t to Erin Nicks)

TF BHS

One of my personal favourite ways to get lost on the internet is to meander on over to YouTube, and start watching “True Facts About” videos. For example, would you like to hear some True Facts About the Tarcier? Yes, yes you would.

Well, John Noon, host extraordinaire of the Backhand Shelf Podcast, decided it was time to take an in-depth look at True Facts About Playoff Bound Canadian Teams today. It’s very informative, and we hope you enjoy it.

One of my favourite parts of Easter (other than the whole resurrection thing) is going to the stores the next day or two and getting a nice big discount on all the candy that they weren’t able to sell. While this generally means shelves full of lousy candy, you can get some great deals on candy that is the same as its usual form, only egg-shaped and, now, cheaper.

This time around, something caught my eye. Along with the usual assortment of pastel M&Ms, gummy bunnies, and Peeps that aren’t yellow (the way God intended them to be), there was a whole shelf full of giant, foil-wrapped chocolate eggs with a big NHL logo on them. They had so many there, it seemed almost certain that they had barely sold any prior to Easter. Out of curiosity, I took a closer look. These chocolate eggs even had a prize inside: a tiny goalie mask.

Normally I wouldn’t have considered it, but I thought it might be worth a blogpost. I was right, since it’s one of the most poorly thought-out items I have seen in a long time.

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I have no idea why you’d take a hack at another sports league from an official team Twitter account, but apparently the Dallas Cowboys felt the need go at the NHL. I’m gonna get out of the way of this because nothing I do or say can match the calm with which the Dallas Stars Tweetist disposed of them.
 

Oh my. Poor Tony Romo.

Followed by… Read the rest of this entry »

This Boston Bruins baby bikini doesn't actually appear on the list, but it haunts me. Oh, it haunts me. (shop.nhl.com)

If we have learned anything from the NHL lockout, it’s that the owners of the various NHL franchises like money. They like to have it and, once they have it, they like to keep it. If they feel they don’t have enough of it, they want more of it. Most importantly, they want to have it for a very long time and are willing to have less of it now if it means having more of it later.

A decent chunk of the Hockey Related Revenue that the owners want more of comes around the holidays, as hockey fans across North America buy hockey-related presents for their loved ones: tickets, jerseys, collectibles, and other sundry items with a team logo affixed along with a slightly heftier price tag than the exact same item bereft of said logo. I have received many such items from my family over the years: pens, car flags, scarves, t-shirts, and bumper stickers, to name a few.

Quite frankly, no one should be spending any money on the NHL during the lockout, as currency is the one mode of communication a fan has to express his or her displeasure. I know, however, that the NHL and its teams’ stores will still do business, albeit at a slightly less brisk pace. Heck, my wife and I couldn’t resist buying our 1-year-old an infant-sized Canucks jersey when Sport Chek had a 40% off sale. But seriously, he looks adorable in it. We are very weak.

But there are far stupider ways to give the NHL some of your hard-earned cash this Christmas. Here are five of them.

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Every summer, NHL players tend to get together in dense pockets around North America and Europe to train together, which makes sense – you can’t get better when you’re playing noon drop-in with a bunch of accountants and lawyers, no offense to those distinguished professions.

One of the more well-known get togethers is sponsored by the sport drink “BioSteel,” which players either love (and by all accounts they do), or are paid to say they love (less likely, from what I hear). Mike Cammalleri is one of their biggest supporters, and Paul Bissonnette isn’t too far behind.

On the first day of camp this year, Cammalleri decided to give Bissonnette a bit of a hard time, so he set up his own mini-version of punked to get the job done. Read the rest of this entry »