“This guy” is named Iiro Vehmanen, and he plays for TuTo of Finland’s second league. This was the season opener for his club, who successfully took down the also-uniquely-named KooKoo 3-2 in a shootout.
One of my favourite things to do in the world, to this day, is to handle a hard orange hockey ball with a light stick with a huge curve on a smooth surface, and fire it a road hockey net. If there’s a goalie in net, I could do that for hours. I’m turning 30 in December, and I could literally do that from now until bedtime tonight if I could find a willing goalie. Especially if there’s a “Now” CD in the boombox, or even better “Jock Jams.”
The problem with the obsession that I had as a kid was that it cost my parents thousands upon thousands in property damage (quite literally). I just couldn’t help myself.
The off-season for ice hockey means one thing: road hockey season. It seems like a fitting time to write my parents an apology.
Lately we’ve seen growth in a relatively new style of website. These sites are designed solely to tell you one thing, and one thing only. For example, you could buy the domain name didbournetweetacatpic.com, and update it to simply the word, in huge font, NO today (it’s still early, gimme time). That way people could go to that site, and boom, instant info.
Of course, they’re all meant to be a joke, and frankly, I think they’re jokes that hit. The Kings had a number of them going for awhile during the past season.
It tells you a few more details than just “yes” or “no,” but the idea’s the same. Be sure to bookmark it Islanders fans- it includes a ticker of days left on his current contract! (Warning: number may give you an aneurysm .)
History has been made. Today is a day that will go down in infamy. Other platitudes that people say when important things happen. We have officially seen the first inter-sport trade. Steve Nash has been traded to the LA Kings. What, you don’t believe me? It was on TV, it must be true. Not only was it on TV, it was on the Toronto-based, 24-hour news channel CP24, obviously the most reliable name in news. “But Jake,” I hear you saying, “this makes absolutely no sense. What kind of blog post is this?” To which I say, “pish posh, this is a blog post reminiscent of the great Cronkite blogs during the war.”
Seriously, it happened. Look
Personally, I can’t wait to see what this trade will do for the Stanley Cup champs. They’re already so strong in their front six and you have to figure that Nash will just add even more depth. I can’t wait to see Anze Kopitar spread the ice, taking stretch passes from Nash. And for all those scrambles in front of the net, Nash’s soccer skills could definitely come in handy. Skate to stick will never have seemed so fluid, so smooth, so Nash.
In a way, this could mean big things for the NHL and its future success in America. In another, more accurate way, this means nothing and is stupid. Clean it up, CP24.
In other news, I really want to know if they ever found that man they sought in that high-speed chase. North York is both too fast and too furious.
I may be the only one, but I actually enjoyed the NHL Awards show this year. Thankfully, they chose to forego having the painfully unfunny Jay Mohr as the host for the third year running, instead choosing to go with no host at all. It turned out to be a good decision: the celebrity presenters were hit and miss, but considering they were only on stage for a few minutes at a time, the misses didn’t ruin the show and the hits didn’t overstay their welcome.
It wasn’t perfect by any means: the entire feel of the show doesn’t really fit the humble, team-first style of hockey and they’re a little too desperate to validate their celebrity guests by naming the specific team that they’re a fan of and that they really do go to the games. But overall, it was an enjoyable and functional show: there were a few laughs, a few endearing moments, and NHL players received NHL awards. Considering that’s the entire point of the exercise, it was a success.
After the jump, the highlights and lowlights of the NHL Awards.
You wanted NHL 24/7 in the summer? You got it! Check out this 24/7 spoof from tonight’s NHL Awards featuring Tracy Morgan who you may know from such programs as Saturday Night Live and the impeccable 30 Rock.
On a night full of crickets, this got chuckles from me. Though it may have to do with my love of ‘TGS with Tracy Jordan’ and not what actually happened in the skit. It is impossible to tell. Read the rest of this entry »
What a bittersweet time. The Stanley Cup is full of champagne or spaghetti or chocolate milk. It has its hair down, tie loose, sleeves rolled up, and is partying like a rock star.
I’d wager that by now the Cup’s had enough fake boobs pressed against it to win an AVN Award (aka the Academy Awards of porn — don’t ask why I know that).
While the Kings bask in its shiny glow and drink themselves into a well-deserved oblivion, the rest of the hockey-obsessed world staggers out into the sun and squints at the sudden contrast in their lives. This thing we got excited for nearly every day of the last nine months is over.