Via Toucher and Rich, The Fonz’s John Tortorella’s yearbook photo from Concord-Carlisle High in Massachusetts has surfaced, and you won’t be disappointed, mostly because he includes the phrase “bathroom brawls” in his…what were those things called, “bequeaths?”
* “Lanas Garage” – him and his buddies leaving certain special dates/locations for posterity?
* MAN, his friends had cooler nicknames than mine. Snake, Mendy, Musky…bad to the bone.
* B.D.W.B? Bhat Dould Webus Bo? That can’t be right. Bacon Derby Wombat Brisket? I’m open to suggestion.
I was rooting for the Winnipeg Jets when they took on the Washington Capitals while scrapping for one of the final playoff spots in the East last night, if only because I write about hockey for a living and a Jets win would’ve meant STANDINGS MADNESS AND CHAOS (and also the whole “woo go Canada” thing). Still, I recognize that the Capitals are a far better team, and will make playoffs better to watch, so meh, things are properly sorted.
It became official last night when Alexander Ovechkin scored his TWENTY-SECOND GOAL IN TWENTY-ONE GAMES!!! into an empty net to ice the contest and all but lock up the Rocket Richard Trophy for himself, an insane feat that none of us saw coming when he was buried on page three of the scoring leaders a dozen-plus games into the season and folks like myself were desperate to find a reason that such a great scorer could so quickly become such a dud.
Anyway, the empty-netter I’m referring to is the one below: he gets the puck just above the top of the circles, and instead of skating it in, or trying to finesse it into a corner, he basically sees the two Jets players in front of the net acting like they’ll block his shot, flops his junk on the table, and says “Okay, if you’re crazy enough, block this 90-some mile-per-hour slapshot with your foot.” Read the rest of this entry »
This is not Jagr-face so much as the exact opposite.
Most athletes have a Try Face. Your Try Face is what naturally comes across your face when you’re at your most intense, your most concentrated, your most focused. We all have one. Michael Jordan was famous for rocking the tongue-out Try Face, for example.
Jaromir Jagr’s Try Face is not so cool.
I noticed this a little throughout the season when watching Jagr play, but when sifting through some of my images it became more apparent and harder to ignore. He goes full Grumpy Cat when he’s trying hard.
Earlier today James Duthie tweeted out a picture from 1998. It’s of nine-year NHL veteran Jaromir Jagr (Simmonds is old!), and 10-year old Milan Lucic. They are now teammates, and that makes this picture awesome.
I did not expect to put this picture in a post when I woke up this morning.
I swear that this is not an April Fools’ Day joke. This is just too damn weird to not make a post on.
So, hands up if you’ve seen Baby Geniuses or Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? I see very few hands. Okay, fine. The Baby Geniuses series are two of those movies that probably only has notoriety because the Internet exists and would likely be a long forgotten footnote of a film were it not for the meme-ification and weird, pseudo-ironic enjoyment that comes from horrible things. The original is #74 on IMDB’s Bottom 100 list and the sequel is currently ranked #4 while also, to this day, remaining the second worst movie Jon Voight ever made. Actually, that’s not even close to true. Does anyone have a weirder IMDB page than Jon Voight? See you for Baby Geniuses 5, dude.
Verbatim, from the Chicago Blackhawks’ Twitter feed last night: “I pity the fool, and I will destroy any intermission contest that tries to take what I got!”
Yes, last night Mr. T was in Chicago to shoot the puck from center during an intermission contest, and people – specifically internet folk – were seriously jazzed about this. And I mean, yeah. Look at that dude. He’s a hero.
Here’s the video in full to emphasize just how awesome he really is: